Tonight I went to a yoga class and saw a woman who I had done one couples counseling session with. I had assumed they didn't like the session because they didn't come back. Also at the class was someone who had come to one of my yoga classes and didn't come back. I made up a story that she didn't like the class.
I found out that neither of my stories were true. It was a good lesson that assume
makes an ass out of u and me ( ass & u & me). I notice that it is easy to take other people's choices personally and in my mind make them be about me. Some of the familiar stories I tell myself are about people rejecting me. This is a brain rut and in addition to usually not being true, these stories leave me feeling inadequate and crappy about myself. I'd like to bring mindfulness and compassion to myself when I am telling myself such a story. " Gee, that sure sounds like a rejection story to me. I must need some love for myself. What would feel soothing and loving right now? By bringing the focus on me being loving with me in the present it shifts me from looking outside myself for approval or , in these cases, disapproval. Maybe what would be soothing is to write self-appreciations or things I am grateful for in my journal or take a hot bath or rest on the floor. In this way I can use my story about the past as a vehicle to be loving to myself in the present. Then it is essential to appreciate myself for moving out of the brain-rut of external validation into internal validation. When I am mindful of the story I can also breathe into my heart and explore the feelings underneath the rejection story and be loving to myself about what that brings up. In that way I can begin to peel away the layers of history that trigger these stories and create more space inside my heart. What stories do you tell yourself?