Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tonight I am very tired and am writing in purple because it makes me smile. Before I came to the computer I laid down on my living room floor and rested. It felt so good. In the past I let myself rest often, especially in the late afternoon when my energy tends to be lower. This winter I have given in to the crossed wires in my brain that say when I am tired I need to eat. Eating when I am tired does slow me down but I end up feeling heavier and more tired.It is a way to distract myself from my very real need to rest. The key is to see if I am really hungry. So, if I think I want to eat, I ask myself, "Am I hungry?" If I get a clear yes, I go eat something.If not I ask myself," what is it I really want?" Often I want to rest or to put on a warm sweater or to take a hot bath. If after I get clear that I am not hungry and I still want to eat something I let myself. Otherwise it becomes an awareness diet and I know I won't be willing to ask myself "what do I really want,"if it is a way to deprieve myself. Sometimes when I give myself permission to eat even when I know I am not hungry, I will decide not to and go do something that more directly addresses what I want- like doing nothing.