For the last few days my desire to write my blog has been growing. Today I realized I don't have to have a neatly packaged plan of what I want to write about. Whatever I share needn't be perfect or profound. Expressing myself creatively feeds my soul. In nourishing myself I hope this blog also contributes to you.
I have recently been working the twelve steps with a sponsor. One of the steps is about looking at my strengths and weaknesses and asking for spiritual support in embracing myself with all of who I am. I read a quote the other day about the arrogance of self-criticism. It really struck me that being mean to myself with unkind words is really arrogant. Since we are all children of the universe or God or higher power or energy, hating ourselves is arrogantly going against the knowing that we are enough as we are and worthy of love. Maybe the awareness and acceptance of this arrogance is the first step toward loving all of who I am.
This quote has helped me to be less hard on myself. Maybe the flip side of the quote would be the humility of self love. I humbly ask to know that my self-hate is worthy of loving. I can include loving myself for hating myself in allowing all of who I am to be embraced and accepted.
Another quote today was: change doesn't come from doing it comes from accepting. What If allowing and accepting what is, in ourselves, including the parts of ourselves we hate, would create more love?
I have noticed as I work the twelve steps with the help of my sponsor I am becoming more forgiving of myself and others. What if we are all doing the best we can in our own imperfect way?
What if progress not perfection is my intention? What if we could focus on acknowledging our progress every night rather than what we didn't cross off of our to do list perfectly?
I am going to list five things that I feel good about from my day today before I go to bed and one thing I wish I had done better. I think a five to one ratio will help to shift the neural brain rut of self criticism toward self-love. Then I will say something I feel grateful for. Maybe you'd like to do this practice too. I bet we'll all sleep better. Sweet dreams!