Friday, August 29, 2008

Held in Love

My website is almost done . It has been a joy to work with my web designer. It's fun to keep refining this vehicle of expressing what I came here to do.

I have been doing a process with people which I would like to share with you. Read it over and then see if you'd be willing to take some time to relax and do this short process. I thought the holiday weekend might be a good time to share this and if it isn't, I hope you will return to it another time.

Draw your circle around you in the air. This circle, as those of you who have worked with me already know, is a symbol of sacred space. It is made sacred by you bringing yourself your own attention. It also represents an energetic boundary that lets you know where you leave off and other people start. Being in your circle teaches you to protect yourself from the inside with a boundary within which you can keep your heart open so you don't need to shut your heart down and create walls.

Breathe into your body in your circle in full deep breaths. Take about a minute to breathe into your body, paying attention to the full inhalation and exhalation of your breath. Each time you notice your mind wandering off into thought, as minds do,gently and lovingly bring yourself back to the awareness of the full inhalation and exhalation of your breath. (For me, a minute is about twelve breaths.)

Then go down into your body and find the place in you that loves you no matter what. Maybe loving yourself no matter what feels too illusive right now. If it does, see if you can contact the part of you that supports you no matter what or the part that thinks you are OK no matter what. This place may be no bigger than the head of a pin. It doesn't matter. Once you have found that place in your body breathe into it . Spend a minute or so and see what you notice.
Then imagine someone or something holding you in unconditional love as you breathe into the place in you that loves you no matter what.This unconditionally loving being could be a person that you know or don't know, a mountain, an animal, light, warm water, the universe or whatever or whoever shows up today to hold you in love.Breathe into that sense of connecting with the part of you that loves you in your body, while being held in love by your unconditionally loving being for about a minute. Take longer if you want to. As long as you want. See what you notice. Appreciate yourself for doing this exercise whatever your experience was. Write about what you noticed if you want to. If you feel moved to, please send me an e-mail and let me know what you experienced. I would love to hear from you.
One woman got a vision of being held in a giant hammock made up of the goodness of many good people stretched out beneath her. As she breathed she could see their faces and feel their love for her. It was a bouncy hammock that was fun to be in, too. I imagined being held by her hammock. I felt peaceful and loved. Being held in her hammock confirmed to her that we are all one united in love and that these beings are waiting to hold anyone in love who asks to be held. She said it was OK for me to share her experience. I am glad to be able to share it with you. Feel free to ask to use her hammock. It's your hammock, too. Happy Labor Day weekend.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Urban Adventure

My friend Wendy and I went on an urban adventure today. We took the lightrail to meditate 08 for the final session which was a deeksha oneness blessing. There were 7 practitioners working with thirty participants. If you remember, deeksha oneness blessings are laying on of hands to bring the energy of oneness. It was very peaceful and I noticed thoughts would arise and be headed off at the pass before I ran with them. That was very freeing. At the end we sent the energy of oneness out to the planet.
It was a wonderful way to end meditate 08. This was the first time in history that a week long interfaith meditation retreat was held near a political convention. I am excited that I got to participate. It was great to be at the opening and the closing.
On the way back we saw thousands of people on the way to Invesco to hear Barack Obama's acceptance speech. All of the streets and highways were closed off. I tried to figure out where they had all put their cars. When the lightrail train pulled up with people packed like sardines, I realized how they were getting there. The trains going out of downtown were also packed to overflowing with people on their way home from downtown with no other easy way out. The energy was electric. It was so exciting to be in such a large group of people with so much enthusiasm for the political process. There was such a variety of Obama t-shirts. This is an amazing time. After I finally got home there was an interview on NPR about the texting at the speech. The Obama campaign was asking all the people there to text them. By doing so they collect all the cellphone numbers and then ask for people to forward messages of support for Obama to their cellphone networks. The plan was for younger people to teach older people who had never texted before how to do it. I like that this campaign is being led by passionate young people who are more comfortable using technology.
This campaign is revolutionizing politics by using technology to a greater degree than ever before. In this way millions more people can be reached out to than with traditional methods. All of this is very hopeful. I am very much looking forward to seeing Barack Obama accept the nomination and hearing him speak. I am hoping his presence will open people's hearts to him and to the reality of his being our next President.
I am glad I got to be part of the energy of this historic campaign. I am looking forward to participating more between now and November. I loved my urban adventure. Have you had an adventure lately? How about this weekend?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Michelle Obama

I watched the Democratic party convention last night.I loved that they had Michelle Obama's older brother introduce her. It was the first step in getting a picture of Michelle as a person.What better fan than her brother to tell of her accomplishments? Noone expects him to be objective so he can lavishly praise her as a sister and a woman to his heart's content. I enjoyed hearing that she encouraged him to leave his career and return to his passion of teaching and coaching.I was primed to open my heart to Michelle Obama. It was easy. I was very impressed with her speech and the confidence and power with which she delivered it. Her passion for helping people less fortunate than herself shone through her words. I liked her, I respected her, I admired her. She is such a strong person. As her brother Craig said,"I admire her not because of who she's married to but rather for the person she is in her own right."I agree. It is inspiring to me to see a woman who seems so wise and warm and pretty comfortable in her own skin aspiring to become the next first lady.
The relationship between Barack and Michelle seems loving and collaborative. I imagine her influence will be pervasive and sought after by her husband. I loved that the absent Barack and his daughters greeted each other from the stage. It was very cool that the girls had microphones. Although they were probably coached, what they shared was very sweet.A nice touch.After her speech,I felt so hopeful about our country.I really do think that Barack Obama is a different kind of politician. I believe that he genuinely wants to bring the change economically,educationally,ecologically that can make this country a better place to live for all of us. He seems committed to peace and to bringing people together to cooperate to move toward peace. I think he will end the war in Iraq quickly. I know he will have many challenges winning this campaign. I think it is possible. It's my intention to do what I can to make it happen. Where are you with the political process? Would you be willing to take a step forward from wherever you are to become more engaged?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

meditate 08

Gary and I went to meditate08 last night and today. A group of people decided that they wanted to hold the space of peace during the democratic convention. They created a lineup of spiritual leaders from forty wisdom traditions to share their practices over six days. The opening ceremony was last night. There were over 300 people there holding a vision of peace. It was very moving to participate in a ceremony that included such diversity. My favorite was a minister whose gospel flavored chant had us all on our feet singing and clapping. Lloyd Burton,one of my mindfulness meditation teachers led us in a silent meditation which brought me to a deeper sense of being present in my body. Joining in silent meditation with such a large group, I felt the energy of our shared intention to bring peace to ourselves and all beings palpable in the room. I was honored to be part of such a group. There was a skilled bamboo flute player whose haunting music spread a feeling of hope throughout my body. The organizers of this event have spent countless hours gathering the presenters and handling logistics. When the two main organizers spoke, they talked about doing all they could to create their vision for the six days and then letting go of the outcome. If we can come together and respectfully honor each othere's paths by listening with an open heart to views which may be different from our own, that seems to be training for being more accepting of others in daily life. That in itself is accomplishing what the organizers hoped to accomplish. They created a space for all of us to practice peace. That is a beautiful thing.The evening ended with Dances of Universal Peace which are chants and dances from many wisdom traditions. It was outside and allowed me to embody what I had heard earlier and to be in nature.
This morning the day opened with laughter yoga. Laughter crosses all boundaries and is such a wonderful way for people to connect. We also experienced a vajrayana buddhist teacher, a vipassana meditation teacher and a native american teacher. Hearing all the passion each person had for their chosen path, I felt very inspired in my practice of my spiritual path. I highly recommend that you check out the schedule on the website http://www.meditate08/ and see if there is something of interest to you. Sharon Saltzberg, one of the three people who brought insite meditation to the west and author of "Lovingkindness" will be speaking on Wednesday from 11:30 to 1. I would love to see her again and I am teaching yoga. I hope someone will go and tell me what your experience was. The event ends on Thursday afternoon with a deeksha oneness blessing with five deeksha practitioners.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Principle of negative magnetism

When I was riding my bike tonight I was wondering what I would write about when I got home. One reason I love writing on this blog is that is supports me in integrating what I learn. I get to go over what I was moved by or found useful and share it with you. In doing that I get a fresh perspective on the original experience. I highly recommend writing as a theraputic tool to integrate experience. I began writing in a diary when I was eight years old. For fifty years I have found writing in a journal to be like confiding in a dear friend. I have kept them all in a closet in my bedroom. For years I would go back and read part of one and come away feeling that I was still so much the same and also very different. I haven't read one in a long time. I wonder why I am keeping them? It is a comfort and a discomfort that I have a record of my life. One journal is filled with the affirmation I, Andrea, weigh 110 pounds. It is useful to remember how much of my early adulthood was consumed with trying to get my body to be thinner. Eventually I realized that hating my thighs would not make them smaller and I began to accept my body as it was. Then I began to be able to lose weight. That is a good thing to remember. Resistance to what is, is an impediment to change. Only when I am willing to open to accepting what is, is there space for change. It's the principle of negative magnetism of the universe. When I think I need something to be OK (like thinner thighs) I can't have it because if I got thinner thighs I would think I was OK because of my thin thighs. The universe wants me to know that I am OK because I am me not because of what I have. How does the principle of negative magnetism of the universe operate for me now? What do I think I need in order to be OK? Clarity about my relationship. It makes sense that I can't have it because I think I need it to be OK. What if I was OK whether I am clear about my relationship or not? It occurs to me that I am OK regardless of how I feel about my relationship. The way I think I should feel is always something different from what I am feeling.
What if my being OK has nothing to do with my relationship at all? What a novel idea. What do you think you need to have or be or do in order to be OK?
Would it be useful to challenge that belief? How about writing about it?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


On Sunday I wrote about paying more attention to my choices when I am with Gary. Yesterday he spontaneously came down for the afternoon and evening and it wasn't until the end of the individual balance beam finals that I realized I had forgotten to write on my blog. After a few minutes of feeling badly I decided I was still a good person and that spacing out writing on my blog could be included in that. Things are always O.K. as long as my definition of OK is very broad. I decided to go to sleep instead. It's funny how I can make up rules for myself and then when I break them I feel badly. As I've said before, intentions seem to be more useful than rules. Rules are more about right and wrong and good and bad. Intentions are about what I would like to have happen. Intentions include doing my part to make them happen and having compassion for myself when I don't.

Compassion for ourselves gives rise to the power to transform resentment into forgiveness, hatred into friendliness, and fear into respect for all beings. Jack Kornfield

I printed out this quote today from I wasn't sure where I would use it and I liked it. It's amazing how the events of my day intersect to form this blog. I don't believe in coincidence anymore, rather in synchronicity( and the opportunity to learn how to spell hard words like synchronicity-which wasn't in my dictionary) There is a flow of the universe that brings me information and experiences that I write about on this blog. Thanks for reading what I write. I do notice that when I am willing to be more compassionate toward myself, it is easier to be accepting of others' foibles. Someone told me that an original meaning of error is "missing the mark," and comes from archery. If making a mistake is no more than taking aim and missing that seems pretty easy to forgive? It isn't that we didn't intend to hit the target it's just that we miscalculated the distance and the phychics of the bow and arrow. Mistakes are designed to teach us as much as being on target. When someone is walking on a balance beam and falls off, the falling off is as much a part of the process as the getting back on and continuing. Even when gold medals are at stake. Even when the gold stars we would like to give ourselves for being perfectly what we expect ourselves to be are at stake. I once got the assignment to burn my toast on purpoe to get to experience making a mistake and accepting that mistake. I think it was quite satisfying. Is there a mistake you could make on purpose? Is there a mistake you didn't make on purpose that you could forgive yourself for?

Sunday, August 17, 2008


Gary has been at a folk music festival all weekend and I have had this delicious weekend all to myself. It has been so much fun to be home and do whatever I want. I have spent time reading and catching up with friends. I have had plenty of time to do yoga and meditate and exercise. I am so happy when I get to do all of the things I love to do. I also attended a yoga class, went to an afternoon PSYCH-K practice session and finished writing the copy for my new web site. Now I am writing in here. I feel full and nourished. The question is, how to be in a relationship and have this relaxed feeling of well-being with another person? That other person is different than me and likes to do very different things. I want to learn how to do more of what feeds my soul when I am with him. He isn't stopping me. We only see each other on the weekends. When I do the things we like to do together there seems to be a scarcity of time left to do my own things if he doesn't want to share in them. I think I have to be more willing to do them anyway. Otherwise I am resentful and not much fun to be with. With practice we have finally learned to hike or walk together. I like to go fast to get exercise and he likes to go slower and stop to look at things. In the beginning after the initial stage of pretending we liked the same things, we would try to walk at the same pace and I would be impatient and pushy and he would feel rushed and grumbly.Now I go ahead and head back to check in with him after a while and then when I have expended enough energy we walk together. The next step is to go for a walk or a hike even when he doesn't want to.
I am getting better at doing my yoga practice in the mornings. We begin meditation together and I continue as he does something else. As I write this I am feeling blessed to have a partner who supports me in doing what I want to do and is so much at home doing things by himself. We share a lot of common interests and we don't. I think that is good. I used to think I wanted a male me.
I have realized that would be way too intense. There would be noone to provide the calm steadiness and the grounding in the material world that Gary brings to our relationship. We have recently started studying with a spiritual teacher together. It has always been my dream to share my spiritual path with my partner.
He does it his way, which is different than mine. When I let myself be open to it, I can learn from his way.
Writing this blog always helps me get clearer about whatever I am writing about. I feel clearer about treasuring the time I spent alone this weekend and knowing that the weekends I spend with Gary will be different. There needs to be a balance between doing only what I want to do and doing only what he wants to do. Peace is somewhere between resentment and guilt. Maybe the sense of well-being comes from seeing my choices as good enough whatever they are. If I am always judging myself or him because I think I should've done something different, it keeps me from being present. Maybe being present with what is and noticing what's next would be a better choice? Do you notice challenges with judging your choices? Would you be willing to cut yourself a little slack? What would cutting yourself slack look like in terms of this past weekend?

Friday, August 15, 2008


I got to spent time with Monnya, my daughter, today. Earlier this summer she cleared an issue with me that was hurtful to her about an insensitive thing I did in her childhood. I was able to hear her and sincerely apologize.Since then it is my experience that we are more relaxed with each other. What was already an honest and close relationship transformed into a deeper one.We seem more like two adults,freer to hang out together and be ourselves. It reminded me of
fifteen years ago when I told my mother how deeply it affected me that she repeatedly slapped me in the face when I was growing up.First she got defensive and said that everyone hit their kids then. I said I knew that and it really hurt me. She looked into my eyes and said how sorry she was and that she didn't mean to hurt me. We both cried and held each other and our relationship transformed.We still had plenty of things to work out and something changed. I saw her as a human being who had made a mistake and owned it.My little girl inside got to see that it wasn't something wrong with her that made my mother slap her. Some of the anger and shame I had been carrying my whole life peeled away and my heart was left more open.I am grateful my Mom and I had that clearing and I am grateful to Monnya for clearing with me.The truth really does heal. Is there a truth you would like to share with yourself or another? Can you imagine finding the courage to create more space in your loving heart by telling the truth and setting yourself free?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Porch test

I just read about the porch test. It's an idea of a woman named Lynn who was writing about how you tell who to chose to be with for a relationship partner. It was part of an advise column that came up on msn when I logged on. I wasn't at all sure why I was reading it. The young woman was trying to decide between two guys. The advise given was good advise. Take some time to be with yourself and to get in touch with your own needs. When you give yourself that time things will become clearer. What I got from that is it is easy to look outside of ourselves for what we want and to think that some relationship, or some entertainment or some substance is going to complete us and give us what we want. When I am in that place of sourcing outside of myself I am miserable. When I can understand that I have moved out of my own circle, ( my sacred circle that is made sacred by bringing myself my own attention) and reel myself or gently draw myself back in, I am better able to feel the deep sense of joy that is within me. It is easy for me to use my primary relationship to source outside myself . I feel uneasy and blaming or that I have lost myself depending on whether I am sourcing him as the good Dad or the bad Dad.The rest of the time it is getting easier to be in touch with my center. I have my moments when I am with Gary and I feel centered and strong. I am not making him horrible or wonderful. I am centered and balanced and I am in a relationship with a man I love who loves me. My egoe's main playground is in the area of intimate relationship. Most of my life I am very in touch with my essence or all of who I am. In the area of intimate relationship I get to act out all of my fears and doubts and watch myself be incredibly unskillful at times. It's very humbling. What is the main area of your life where you can watch your ego running the show? Would it be helpful to make a conscious intention to pay attention to yourself concerning that area of your life?
Oh yeah, the porch test. Can you imagine yourself with this other person sitting out on a porch well into your nineties holding hands and feeling utterly at peace? I can imagine myself out on that porch sourcing myself and feeling that sense of peace. That is my porch test.

Monday, August 11, 2008


In some ways it's nice to have a long distance relationship because I get to spend the week doing my work and doing what I want to when I want to. Then I get to go up to the mountains and spend the weekend with Gary.Sometimes I think I should want to live together and mostly I really like things the way they are- at least for now. There is definitely less suffering when I can accept what is, rather than when I am wishing that what is, wasn't as it is. I am understanding that opening to suffering and letting myself experience it, also lessens it.Judging myself for suffering takes me two steps away from the experience of the sensation under the suffering. If I am busy being up in my head judging or feeling ashamed about suffering, the way out of the suffering isn't available. Awareness of the judgement or the shame is the first step. If I can have compassion for myself about my suffering which means understanding that it is an appropriate way to feel in the midst of discomfort or pain or loss, then it is way easier to drop my story about why I shouldn't be suffering(when in fact I am) If a child came to me who was suffering I wouldn't in my wildest dreams say to her,"what do you have to suffer about? You have such a good life. You are being such a drama queen." How is it that it feels O.K. to treat myself that way? If a suffering child came to me I would hold her in love, tell her I can understand her suffering and ask her to tell me more. That is the least I can do with myself.Then I would be more relaxed about experiencing my suffering and there would be space for it to release. The times I have been able to bring lovingkindness to my suffering and then go down into my body to the sensation of the pain in my body, that awareness and attention has allowed the sensation to eventually release.I recommend that we bring a softening to ourselves about our suffering. See what you notice when you let your heart soften to your own suffering.
In the midst of all that life brings it is important to give ourselves treats.We went hiking at Brainard Lake today. It was such a joy to see all of the flowers. The colors are amazing and still vibrant.If you haven't yet or even if you have, give yourself the gift of a mountain flower hike. Nature is such a great source of treats.

Friday, August 8, 2008

opening ceremonies

I watched part of the opening ceremonies for the summer olympics tonight. I had mixed feelings. It was a gorgeous artistic endeavor .The tai chi demonstration with thousands of people moving fluidly together was thrilling. I thought about China being a country where millions of people do Tai Chi in the morning in parks before work. The costuming was lush and intricate. The female dancers and the male oarsman who have perfected their art forms and moved together with such precision were all beautiful. The fireworks were exciting. There was also a spiritual component woven through it all that combined taoism, buddhism and confucianism like that we are all the drops of water and the water at the same time. That was very moving. Also I kept thinking about how much it might have cost. Did it have to be that lavish? The commercials interspersed with the ceremony were also a huge expense. What are we trying to prove? Although I enjoyed the expression of creativity very much, part of me was offended by the conspicuous consumption. This is my fantasy. What if only half of the money was spent on a beautiful pageant and only half of the money was spent on the commercials and the rest of the money was used for helping people? Maybe it could be used to help athletes in countries where there aren't adequate resources. Maybe it could be used to feed hungry people. Maybe a statement could have been made about contributing to the sustainability of the planet as well as contributing to its entertainment and education. It's a nice fantasy. It seems important to have fantasies about how things could be. It keeps us from denying mixed feelings. I'm glad I got to watch the opening ceremonies. It is inspiring to think of all of those athletes who are the best in the world at what they do and 204 nations coming together to celebrate that. It also made me think. How can I give back in my life? How can I both entertain myself and contribute to the planet? How can I live my life with some awareness of how others are living without being self-righteous or hopeless about it? What is the balance inside of me of taking care of myself and showing up for others? What does genuine caring that comes from a centered place look like? What does that look like for you? I am now going take care of myself and go to bed so I can continue to ponder all of this tomorrow. Good night.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

business with intuition

Today I went to Cheesman Park to do a photo shoot for my website with the web developer who is also a journalist and a photographer. Creating my web site has been so much fun so far. I've wanted to have a web site for such a long time and haven't been willing to do the work of even finding someone to help me. I love doing business with people with whom I feel some like-mindedness.When I went to my favorite hot springs for my personal retreat last month I met Mike Blevins( got to know him.It was easy to start the process of developing a web site with a person I already felt comfortable with. Although I could say that I should have gotten this together sooner, the timing is actually perfect. It is good to trust that when the time is right the right person to help appears. I am creating a whole new concept about what I do. For a while now the name psychotherapist hasn't felt like a good fit. I am working with people who want to grow and doing more of what I would more accurately call counseling or mentoring. This web site will more clearly express my intention to suppport people in opening up to the fullest expression of all that they are in body mind life and spirit. Just writing that is very exciting to me. I am coming out in the fullest expression of all that I am in presenting myself and my work.
What a great opportunity to walk my talk.I look forward to listening to my intuition in choosing the people I do business with more and more.Would it be useful to you to look at who you are doing business with to see who you feel comfortable with and who you don't? Last year I hired a company to trim my trees when my neighbor had them doing an estimate.Even though it didn't feel quite right,it was convenient. I ended up regretting my decision.Although things worked out in the end I used much more time and energy than I wanted to. Funny though, Maybe it was just the right amount of time and energy to let me know that there are natural consequences when I ignore my intuition. I appreciate the opportunity to practice discernment, even though it is sometimes painful. Pain can be a wake-up call to change course. May it be easier and easier for all of us to recognize its message.

Monday, August 4, 2008

To blog or not to blog

Even though it is late and I am tired, I want to write this blog. Tomorrow is a very busy day and I don't think I will have time to write. Rather than skipping a day I want to write this tonight and publish it in the morning. My brain is a little fuzzy and I am making a lot of mistakes. Maybe the best thing to do is to go to bed and trust that I will find time to write tomorrow or not.I don't like it when I say I will do something like write every other day and then I don't. Is it a matter of cutting myself some slack and not writing and being O.K. with that or of pushing through my fatigue and seeing if the blog that emerges is worth publishing. When I am tired my inner critic gets louder.I am asking it to step aside for a moment while I write this. It is stepping aside.Can you believe it? I am opening to the fun of writing knowing that my brain isn't operating optimally.Maybe not having an optimal brain isn't such a bad thing. The thing that's wonderful about the creative flow is that when I push myself a little and stretch beyond my resistance,the energy of the flow itself carries me. I almost feel like this blog is writing itself. I wonder what it is going to say next? It seems to be saying nothing. I have nothing to say. Nothing nothing nothing.Is it O.K. to have nothing to say? Probably it would be good to take this nothing and go to bed with it.I wonder if I will dream of nothing.What would that be like? A big black screen with nothing on it. Would it be pleasant or unpleasant? Does it matter? What does matter? Does it matter if this blog has deep inherent worth or it is O.K. to tell the story of writing this blog until the story is over. I think this blog is telling me to go get my toothbrush and go to sleep. It is a wise blog. I am listening. Sweet dreams.

Sunday, August 3, 2008


Yesterday I went to a one day meditation retreat led by Phillip Moffitt, a vipassana meditation teacher. I loved the retreat especially because it included movement to prepare for meditation and was focused on paying attention to sensation in our bodies. Phillip has recently written a book called Dancing With Life, Buddhist Insights for Finding Meaning and Joy in the Face of Suffering.( The workshop was based on the Buddha's four noble truths. The first noble truth is that there is suffering. Phillip talked about the tyranny of pleasure and pain and how to focus awareness on how much of what we do in life is motivated by avoiding pain and craving pleasure.He suggested that becoming aware of this eventually moves us to make decisions according to what we value beyond pleasure and pain. We did one walking meditation which was especially powerful for me. The exercise was to do slow mindful walking for twenty minutes starting out with asking a question about an area of our lives we felt stuck about. My question was, How can I let go of obsessing about my relationship with my partner? Phillip said to ask the question at the beginning and even if an answer came to set it aside and focus on each step of the walking and then revisit the question at the end and see if an answer arises. I asked my question and the answer that came up right away was to embrace,"don't know" mind. Don't know mind is letting go of knowing the right answer and being present with not knowing. Opening to don't know mind made it possible for me to get out of my head and to notice the beautiful flowers in the garden next to where I was walking. I felt grateful for that. At the end of the walk I felt a strong sensation of tightness in my chest. I could feel how tightly I was holding my heart closed. Again I asked the question and what I got was, "Be with the suffering." I breathed into my heart and fully embraced the suffering. As I breathed I noticed I let go of judging myself for suffering and the tightness loosened up. When I walked back into the meditation hall I noticed I felt more accepting and less obsessive. I wasn't hanging out in my mind going over and over the story I was telling myself. The feelings didn't go away and my tightness over feeling them released. I was able to be more mindful and more compassionate. I didn't need to run from the pain and that created less suffering.
What does this bring up for you? Is there something you are suffering about that you could bring gentle loving attention to?

Friday, August 1, 2008


Work is love made visible.
Kahil Gibran
This is the peace quote I received today from
It moved through my body and sent shivers up my spine. It puts into words why I am so passionate about my work. I have the honor of loving people while they grow. Sometimes I am in awe when people write me a check at the end of a session that I get paid to do this work.
Working together with people supports my growth and healing as much as it supports them. Sometimes I think I should be the one that's paying. On top of that, in order to be really good at what I do, I get to take workshops and learn new healing modalities, do my own personal and spiritual growth work, and take care of myself impeccably. This is amazing and I am truely blessed. My wish is for everyone who wants to to have work that feeds their soul. Because this is my third career and each thing I do builds on everything that came before, I love to help people have the courage to use what they are doing as a stepping stone to the next phase of their work. Teaching Yoga and Laughter Yoga have added balance and joy to my worklife. It is fun to help people look at augmenting their work with things they love.
I am creating my web site with a web developer and learning so much from the process about what I do and why I do it. Although it was very intimidating at first, expressing my work to others helps me to get clearer and clearer about what I actually have to offer. It's fun to create a beautiful simple website. It is a stretch for me to put myself out there in the world in that way. It brings up all of my stuff about worrying about doing it wrong. It's easy to get critical and obsessive. It's also an opportunity to be mindful and compassionate and create a good enough website. What could you do to stretch and put yourself out there in whatever arena you've been wanting to? What are your fears and doubts? What would be in it for you to move through them? What would be the next step?