Porch test

I just read about the porch test. It's an idea of a woman named Lynn who was writing about how you tell who to chose to be with for a relationship partner. It was part of an advise column that came up on msn when I logged on. I wasn't at all sure why I was reading it. The young woman was trying to decide between two guys. The advise given was good advise. Take some time to be with yourself and to get in touch with your own needs. When you give yourself that time things will become clearer. What I got from that is it is easy to look outside of ourselves for what we want and to think that some relationship, or some entertainment or some substance is going to complete us and give us what we want. When I am in that place of sourcing outside of myself I am miserable. When I can understand that I have moved out of my own circle, ( my sacred circle that is made sacred by bringing myself my own attention) and reel myself or gently draw myself back in, I am better able to feel the deep sense of joy that is within me. It is easy for me to use my primary relationship to source outside myself . I feel uneasy and blaming or that I have lost myself depending on whether I am sourcing him as the good Dad or the bad Dad.The rest of the time it is getting easier to be in touch with my center. I have my moments when I am with Gary and I feel centered and strong. I am not making him horrible or wonderful. I am centered and balanced and I am in a relationship with a man I love who loves me. My egoe's main playground is in the area of intimate relationship. Most of my life I am very in touch with my essence or all of who I am. In the area of intimate relationship I get to act out all of my fears and doubts and watch myself be incredibly unskillful at times. It's very humbling. What is the main area of your life where you can watch your ego running the show? Would it be helpful to make a conscious intention to pay attention to yourself concerning that area of your life?
Oh yeah, the porch test. Can you imagine yourself with this other person sitting out on a porch well into your nineties holding hands and feeling utterly at peace? I can imagine myself out on that porch sourcing myself and feeling that sense of peace. That is my porch test.