treats

In some ways it's nice to have a long distance relationship because I get to spend the week doing my work and doing what I want to when I want to. Then I get to go up to the mountains and spend the weekend with Gary.Sometimes I think I should want to live together and mostly I really like things the way they are- at least for now. There is definitely less suffering when I can accept what is, rather than when I am wishing that what is, wasn't as it is. I am understanding that opening to suffering and letting myself experience it, also lessens it.Judging myself for suffering takes me two steps away from the experience of the sensation under the suffering. If I am busy being up in my head judging or feeling ashamed about suffering, the way out of the suffering isn't available. Awareness of the judgement or the shame is the first step. If I can have compassion for myself about my suffering which means understanding that it is an appropriate way to feel in the midst of discomfort or pain or loss, then it is way easier to drop my story about why I shouldn't be suffering(when in fact I am) If a child came to me who was suffering I wouldn't in my wildest dreams say to her,"what do you have to suffer about? You have such a good life. You are being such a drama queen." How is it that it feels O.K. to treat myself that way? If a suffering child came to me I would hold her in love, tell her I can understand her suffering and ask her to tell me more. That is the least I can do with myself.Then I would be more relaxed about experiencing my suffering and there would be space for it to release. The times I have been able to bring lovingkindness to my suffering and then go down into my body to the sensation of the pain in my body, that awareness and attention has allowed the sensation to eventually release.I recommend that we bring a softening to ourselves about our suffering. See what you notice when you let your heart soften to your own suffering.
In the midst of all that life brings it is important to give ourselves treats.We went hiking at Brainard Lake today. It was such a joy to see all of the flowers. The colors are amazing and still vibrant.If you haven't yet or even if you have, give yourself the gift of a mountain flower hike. Nature is such a great source of treats.