Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The Terror of Self Acceptance
On the way to teaching yoga today I asked myself "What would my life be like without my inner critic? I felt relief and I also felt fear.Then I came home and read my peace quote for the day, (http://firstname.lastname@example.org)by/ Carl Jung. "The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely." So, I am wondering why that is true? What is so terrifying? One idea I had is that my inner critic is so familiar to me that without it yapping at me I wouldn't know who I was. Or maybe I'm afraid I would run amuck and be an out of control pleasure seeker (horrors!)Another idea is that it somehow keeps me humble to be reminding myself that I suck.I remember when I was a little girl people would hurl this insult at others,"She really loves herself." They said it in connection with"being conceited" or "having a swelled head." or "being too big for her britches." Somehow accepting myself and feeling good about myself was kind of sinful and not respectful of the judeo-christian idea of original sin. Somehow in my mind being a good girl and keeping myself in line by focusing on what I am doing wrong got connected together. What if accepting myself as I am includes accepting the part of me that is terrified to accept myself as I am? What are your thoughts about what is so terrifying about self-acceptance? I am going to a PSYCH-K training for the next four days. If I have the energy to write in the evenings, I will.