Support

Since I sent out my new website to my e-mail list I have had an outpouring of support. It feels so good to acknowledge the caring, positive messages. One good reason to reach out to people is to remember how much I am cared about. What good is a support system if I don't use it for support. Isn't that the point?
Reaching out for support is a stretch. When I need support about something I am challenged by it is easy to minimize it or to decide that my friends are too busy. I can make up lots of stories about how what I want to share isn't important and I should figure it out myself. Then I tell myself that my friends are tired of hearing my same old story. The ego is very wiley about convincing us we are alone and separate. Reaching out to a trusted friend for help often deepens the relationship. The people I feel closest to are the ones who are the most real with me. The ones who say they are fine all the time aren't the one I feel safe sharing with when I am not feeling fine. My closest friends are people I can share my joys and sorrows with knowing they will do the same. Support is mutual interdependance. That is a good thing,
There is a difference between venting to gossip or create validation for a position and support. Let's say I am preparing to speak to my sister about a conflictual issue. I can share this preparation with a friend, letting the friend know what my intention is. My intention is to get support in clearing the way to be closer to my sister. That isn't triangulation. Triangulation is one person talking about a second person to a third person when the communicatiion is indirect and not intended as preparation for direct communication. In a lot of families noone talks to each other directly and all communication goes on through triangulation. It's like a giant game of telephone. Sometimes it is so common in families that people don't even know they haven't talked to the person directly and accept triangulation as a substitue for a relationship. They haven't talked to their cousin Edie but have heard about her from their mother. In a way triangulation actually prevents direct communication in families. Is there someone in your family or a friend you have been wanting to reach out to? Is there a venue you've been wanting to check out as a possible way to expand your support system?
I am grateful for the support I have in my life. It is a joy to share my new website and feel that support so strongly.