What is reasonable?

What is reasonable to want in a relationship? I just finished reading a really thought provoking article by Tara Brach called, "A More Perfect Union". She suggests bringing what she calls, Radical Acceptance, ( she wrote a book called Radical Acceptance which I highly recommend) to ourselves and our partners. Radical acceptance has two wings, mindfulness and acceptance. When we are upset with our partners ask within, "What is it in me that needs attention?" Find the sensation under the story of blame or defensiveness and experience that sensation with an open heart. Then ask, "Can I accept what is in my experience now?" I am feeling frustrated because it is so hard for Gary to talk about his feelings. I feel lonely when I know there is something going on with him emotionally and he isn't sharing it with me. I feel tired and drained because I believe I have to drag it out of him to get him to talk about it. Lots of times I withdraw instead. If I go inside with my lonliness I feel a tightness in my chest. That tightness is wrapped in sadness. There is a feeling that I won't ever get what I want that has been with me since I was a little girl trying to connect with my father. I took it personally that my father wasn't available emotionally and wouldn't connect with me. I thought there was something wrong with me and that if I just tried harder to be good I would get what I wanted. I want to reassure the little girl inside me that there was nothing wrong with her. Her Dad wasn't willing to show up in the way she wanted him to. It's O.K. that she wanted that from him, and she will never get it. I can feel the sadness welling up. I can notice it and accept it and experience it. That feels freeing. I feel a sense of release and peace. I can show up for the little girl inside me and honor her feelings and her desire for real closeness with other human beings who are vulnerable with their feelings. That seems like a reasonable thing to want.
I can be with myself when I feel lonely. Maybe I am lonely for my own attention and trying to get Gary to be a certain way to avoid my own lonliness. By showing up for myself with mindfulness and compassion I can get more clarity about what is reasonable to want from a relationship. Would you be willing to practice this process of bringing awareness and loving attention to yourself with something you are upset with your partner about? See what you notice.