Excuse me

Does it make sense to write this and feel rushed or to wait until tomorrow? What does rushing do to the quality of my creativity? Is there an option to write now and not rush? Gary is here and it is so challenging for me to do anything to take care of myself. He just barged in here and without saying excuse me started talking to me about the parched condition of the flower basket he bought me for mother's day. I am in my flow writing, girl interrupted,and got really defensive assuming that he thought I was killing the flowers with neglect. How can I do what I need to do and be in a relationship? He said he was really hungry and wanted to eat and would eat alone if I wanted to finish. I stopped writing to eat with him. Now I have eaten dinner and Gary is doing the dishes so I can finish writing.
The answer to how I can be in a relationship and do what I need to do is to communicate what I want and need. When I clearly and directly ask for what I want Gary is good at hearing me and responding with his truth. I can't expect him to read my mind and magically respond to what I want if he doesn't know what it is. Being defensive and unkind creates walls- setting boundaries allows me to keep my heart open. I let Gary know that I'd like him to say excuse me when he comes into where I am writing if he wants my attention. He is willing to do that. Now he came in here and stood behind my chair and made a monster pose over me not saying anything.He said he was just being playful when I reminded him that he agreed to say excuse me. I guess this is going to take some work. I am so used to being alone and having only myself to consider. I admire couples who have been together for twenty years and have in their own way worked all of this out. Maybe it isn't always by communicating clearly and directly what they each want. If I am aware of drawing my circle around me and setting boundaries there is much more chance that I will take care of myself and take Gary into consideration. When there is unbalance either because I am losing track of honoring myself or because I am losing track of honoring Gary
it seems important to forgive myself or ask him for forgiveness and return to my circle. This is a learning experience and the benefits are healing the pattern of taking care of myself when I am alone and abandoning myself when I am in a relationship. This is a challenge. I will think more about this and write more later. How do you take care of yourself when you are with other people?