Toilets

When I was a little girl the only place I could go to have some privacy was the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet became my refuge. It was a sanctuary where I could be alone with my thoughts and feelings. No one would be in my face. Over the years I have spent many hours sitting on the toilet and have found it to be a great source of inspiration and intuition. As an adult I discovered my sacred circle and that drawing it around myself allowed me to be protected with a boundary while keeping my heart open. One day I realized that the toilet seat is a circle and acts as a reminder to me to be in my circle. Sometimes when I am challenged by a decision or want to come up with an idea I can retreat to the toilet breathe quietly, ask for help and find clarity.
When I started my meditation practice in my twenties the sense of creating time to be alone and get to know my inner world was already familiar, thanks to my early toilet training. It's funny how a strategy for survival can be a vehicle for later thriving. Little did I know at the time I was retreating from my family to the safety of the bathroom, that meditation would save me from my anxiety and open up new worlds of being. James Hillman in his book, The Soul's Code theorizes that every thing we do throughout our lives leads us to where we are going. He sees early passions as acorns to the tree of later interests and accomplishments. On my preschool records it said, "She is always singing and loves to perform." As an older child I had an imaginary classroom of children I would become absorbed in teaching and people who would share bits of their life stories with me. I loved to do art projects. I would like to allow that little girl to contribute to me more. I think I'll have a conversation with her and ask for her help about expressing myself creatively. She was very good at helping people get clear about something they wanted.
What do you know about your early interests and passions? What did you do as a child that you could lose yourself in? How do any of those acorns contribute to the tree that is your life? Is there a way you could allow these acorns to manifest more fully?