In memorial

To continue from the last blog, FEAR stands for false evidence appearing real. Thanks to one of you, dear readers, for providing the information. He also suggested: Frantic effort to avoid reality.
With mindfulness we can attend to ourselves in our fear. We can pay attention to the sensations in our bodies that make up the fear and breathe into that. We can interrupt the story the ego tells us about the fear. That story is the false evidence appearing real. We can move back to our direct experience in our bodies in the present moment.
This can be a fearful time. How can we recognize what we may have lost and still find the energy to be grateful for what we have? For me, it is recognizing when I am afraid and comforting myself. I imagine holding myself or the little girl inside of me and saying, " I am here for you in your fear." Embracing ourselves in our fear allows us to soften. When I can soothe myself by telling myself,"It is OK to be afraid" it calms the amigdula of the brain, the fight or flight mechanism.
Whole brain posture is a great way to self-soothe. Cross your legs at the ankles. Bring your arms out in front of you and and cross your hands one over the other. Interlace your fingers with the palms touching each other and bring your hands up into your heart or down into your lap. Feel your fear and breathe. When I allow myself to be with my fear I can release the frozen part of me and remember that everything is OK as long as I have a very broad definition of what OK is. Being with fear has an internal piece and an external piece. Once you've soothed yourself and the fear has released some, it is possible to begin to address the next step needed in the outside world. It may be a doing step or a being step. It may involve action or being patient.
I just returned from the burial ritual of someone I had worked with for a long time. It is shocking to be so close to a person and then have them be gone. It is scary to imagine this woman vitally going through life and then have that vitality so abruptly interrupted. She died suddenly while scuba diving. As the casket was lowered into the ground I cried and thought about her smile and warmth. I was comforted by knowing she was more than her body and her spirit lives on. The grief I am feeling is because she has left the physical plane. It is important to attend to regardless I what i believe spiritually. She did such deep work on herself and brought herself to the place where she was loving and accepting of herself. Many people appreciated her positive attitude toward life. I will miss knowing she is on the planet spreading her light. I am sending love and energy to her family and friends who have suffered such a loss. I dedicated Laughter Yoga to her today. She would have liked that. The last time I heard from her after several years of not seeing her, was in a phone message after seeing me in Laughter Yoga on channel nine news. She was laughing and very supportive. That was who she was.
Death informs life. Her death will inspire me to live my life more fully and take less for granted. I am grateful for her presence in my life.
How has death informed your life?Think about the loss of someone you cared about and the effect it has had on your life. See if it useful to be with yourself and let yourself feel it.