loving yourself back home

I have been under a major ego attack this weekend where I was doubting myself obsessively. It started when I bought my car on Thursday and convinced myself I had done it wrong. I should've bought a hybrid and I didn't. I judged myself that if I was really dedicated to my principles I would've bought a different car. I compared myself to the other people I know who have hybrids and came up short. It didn't matter that I love the car I bought and carefully picked it. I have done so much work on myself and often I can catch these attacks and interrrupt them pretty quickly. I have an extensive tool box full of great tools that help to reduce anxiety and create a more centered sense of peace. Sometimes I forget all of that and believe my inner critic telling me I am doing it wrong. It is very humbling to know that sometimes I totally forget to practice what I teach. When I get really escalated I mistrust in my choices and spin stories about how I am messing up. If I don't interrupt the cyclying downward at that point realizing I am flaggelating myself and soothing myself with whole brain posture or a dose of reality then I project second-guessing myself onto my relationship with Gary. He looks like the bad guy. If only I could get out of the relationship everything would be fine. My heart is so shut down that I'm not in touch with my deep love for him. It is easy for me to project my feelings of self-doubt onto judging him and get very critical. It isn't pleasant for either one of us at that point. Gary can usually stay pretty non-reactive in the face of my doubts. He can hold the space of love and trust that we will work things out when I have lost it. He has learned not to take it personally. This morning he ran out of steam and got hopeless about our relationship. I appreciated his being honest and sharing it with me and it really woke me up to what I was doing. I realized I could actually push him away and what a loss that would be for me. He brings me wisdom and sweetness and helps me to navigate the material plane. I am very grateful for his presence in my life. I learn so much from him about working through my fears of intimacy. My ego hates him and feels very threatened by our intimacy. Gary's love threatens my negative belief that there is something wrong with me. It takes a great deal of resistance for me to push away Gary's love. When I am in that threatened fearful place I am numb to the experience of my love for him. What I wish for is to be able to recognize sooner and sooner that blaming him for my life not working is a signal that something is going on with me. I am off-center and I need to do whatever it takes to center myself again. From that centered place I know there is nothing wrong with me and I can reclaim my own heart, opening it up to my own love for myself. I can bring myself home to the place where I know I am love and I am loved. Then my love for Gary comes rushing back in tired of being kept out in the cold waiting. As we always have, we worked our way back from the fear to the love today. Tools that work for us are sharing our truths and deeply listening to each other,meditating, eyegazing and being close physically. What I wish for is to spend more time enjoying each other. I want to be able to relax and have fun more easily. I do acknowledge myself for returning again to the place of deep joy inside of me where I know everything will be OK. When I fully embrace that place I know everything is OK and that I am safe and held in love.
Can you relate to this? What tools have you found that help you to remember who you really are? Can you recognize an ego attack and love yourself back home? Acknowledge yourself for being able to do that.