Just what is needed

My wrist has been bothering me. As I age I notice more soreness and stiffness in my body. Today the e- letter from Yoga journal daily practice is on wrists and putting less pressure on them in yoga poses. It was timely and helpful. I felt grateful. How does it work that the universe provides just what I need sometimes? Maybe it is true that the universe provides just what I need always and sometimes I recognize it and other times I don't. For instance, the heavy snowstorm that came yesterday and today looked like an unwelcomed opportunity to burden my wrist with more strain. I didn't like that. I felt it was important to shovel out of respect for my clients who showed up in the snow. I shoveled yesterday and this morning. The snow was wet and heavy. After some grumbling and fear I decided to look for how the universe gave me what I needed. First of all I found an angle of emptying the shovel of each helping of snow that was the least taxing on my right wrist. I felt resourceful. That felt good. I also had the chance to see that doing a good enough job of shoveling instead of the best possible job sufficed.That was comforting and satisfying. It is easy to feel like a victim when I can't see how the universe provides just what I need. I don't have to like it. I only have to look at what is in it for me. What is in it for me might not fit my pictures of what I thought I wanted. In fact, feeling victimized is easiest to fall into when an outcome doesn't fit my pictures. When I see myself as a victim I imagine that the universe is giving me what I don't need. Today someone I work with cancelled with very little notice and I got to see how pissy I felt. When I feel irritated or angry I often think I should find a way not to be. However, I used my anger to clarify my boundaries for myself and to ask for what I wanted about rescheduling. Harder yet was copping to being pissy with her. She heard me and said she knew I was annoyed even though I thought I did such a good job of hiding it behind being accomodating. How is this just what needed to happen? Her intuition got validated and we both got to experience repairing disharmony with healthy conflict resolution. Each time I share anger in a conscious mindful clear way it opens up more space for me to experience and release strong feelings. I learn that I have feelings, I am not my feelings. When I can let go of identifying so strongly with my angry feelings, it is easier to see that blame is part of feeling victimized. When I breathe into the sensation of the anger and let go of my story I can experience and release it. At least sometimes. Blame is a story. It's someone else's fault. When I can recognize blame I can ask myself, what is my part? what is my responsibility? what is my learning? What happened can still suck. When I let go of my story that it is someone else's fault and that I am a victim it opens up space for me to feel what I am feeling and allow it to shift or release. Then it is easier to see how what happened was what needed to happen. It doesn't mean it will fear fair or copesetic. How do tragic events and world suffering fit with this idea? I don't know. That is what I need to know and don't yet. Maybe I can trust that I will be given the knowledge that I need. I am beginning a project to gather evidence from my daily life that what is happening is just what is needed. Would you care to join me?