Tourquoise

I was driving up a steep dirt road on Saturday night on the way to a Starhouse kirtan in the mountains. A kirtan is a chanting ritual, usually in call and response. This one had live music and lots of peolple dancing, as well as chanting. As I climbed up the road, with a car right behind me, my car began to decelerate rapidly and foul smelling smoke poured out of the hood. I was really scared because I had no idea what was happening. I downshifted to first and resumed climbing. Luckily my car didn't catch on fire and I made it up to the parking lot screaming and crying in my car. It helped to vent all of my fear and calmed me down a bit. Gary was there and was very helpful. That calmed me down more. I drove it around a little bit and the clutch seemed to be engaging. My fear was that I had blown out the clutch. This clutch was a miracle clutch. It may have been the original clutch and my trusty car has over 150,000 miles on it. Periodically during the kirtan, my stories about my car's imminent demise took over my mind. I brought myself back to the compelling music and healing rhythmic chants. I love to sing and dance and it was such a good opportunity to immerse myself in the energy. I kept reminding myself that my car would get handled and that Gary would help me. We left early because I couldn't wait any longer to see how my car was doing. Gary drove it around and it was no longer smoking however everything in it including me smelled like burning garbage. We decided to leave it there and call my brother who is an expert on Subarus, in the morning. Luckily we had driven up in two cars.
When we called my brother he confirmed it was the clutch going through it's close to final hurrah. I have been holding on to my car because it is a great car and I am very attached to it. When I was 41 I bought myself a new car for my birthday. Monnya was 6. My plan was to keep that car for ten years and then give it to Monnya for her sixteenth birthday, which I did. It felt great to tie it up in a big red ribbon and give it to her. This car I have now, whose name is Tourquoise, I bought to replace the car I gave Monnya. I found it in the paper and did the whole transaction myself. It was seven years old when I bought it. I have had that trustworthy car for 8 years. I knew it would be time to let go of it soon and I was holding on for as long as I could. Monnya left home to go out into the world soon after I hooked up with Tourquoise. It was the car that shared the empty nest era of my life. We had lots of great adventures. It got to the point where it could almost drive to my favorite hot springs on its own. Now it is time to let it go. It has been telling me that since I had my accident in January. Today was the court date for my ticket. That was so sad watching so many people who seemed to have so little money have to pay so much. I had this idea that if I took full responsibility for my accident and let the magistrate know noone was hurt and there was minimal damage the points would get significantly lowered. That didn't happen. The magistrate said he was glad to hear that and lowered the points by one according to the offer built in for my offense. I left feeling blessed to have the resources to easily pay for my ticket. I have really been way more focused on driving mindfully since the accident and that is a good thing. This has been an expensive lesson and I am grateful that noone was hurt. Gary and I drove down to my brother's in Boulder and he lent me his car to drive for a few days. He will sell my car and help me to find my next car. I really appreciate his expertise. Gary has really been there for me around all of this. It is somehow fitting that tourquoise was with me until I was ready to be in a committed relationship. I so appreciate the support of a good reliable mechanical friend. I will miss her. Do you have a car that has meant or means a lot to you? What is your history with the car? By the way, if you are a new reader, I write this blog on Monday Wednesday and Friday. I look forward to connecting with you on Wednesday.