what is

It is good to be writing again. Can I trust that even though I think I don't have enough time to write this and I'm not sure what I am going to write about that it will get written exactly as it needs to be. Or that it will get written exactly as it does? That may be the key. If I have expectations of what it will look like or how it needs to be "what Is" will never live up to them. "What is" doesn't care if I have been disappointed in the past or I'm worried about being disappointed in the future. "What is" keeps on being what is regardless of how much I believe my story that "what is" should be something different than it is.
As I write this I wonder if this is making sense. It is making sense to me. I guess that's all I have right now because I can't ask you. All I have right now are these green words flowing out of my heart through my hands. It's good to trust in that. I have something to say and it is being said. How simple and how lovely. My fears and doubts are just that. That doesn't mean it's not a good idea to be discerning. Discernment is making choices that come from conscious awareness. It's different than judgement. When I am judging everything looks wrong. Judgement notices what's wrong with "what is".
Discernment notices what is and asks what's next?
I notice my fingernails are still dirty from my camping trip and I wonder if I have time to clean them before I leave to go walk with my fried before leading laughter yoga? Not a mystery. I do if I choose to. I could choose to judge myself for my dirty fingernails and to feel overwhelmed by having to do one more thing before I leave. That sense of urgency clouds my brain and I start making typos which I notice eats up the time I have to write this. I can chose to write this blog and let go of second guessing myself about what shows up in it. I can relax and let the relaxed me write this blog. She is a much better writer.
Let's see if there is anything else left to say? Is this enough?Is it good enough? Is it stupid? It is what it is. For now that is good enough.