Asking for help

It is good to be able to write. I haven't been able to get on to msn since yesterday. I was struggling to figure out what was wrong and trying my small repertoire of trouble shooting tools over and over. Tonight I talked to Gary and asked him for help. He gave me some ideas and showed me how to get to my e-mails and this blog from hotmail. I still don't have direct access to msn. I am grateful to get into this blog to write this.
It is such a blessing to have a partner that I can ask for help. For so long I had to either do everything myself or hire someone to help. It is difficult for me to ask for help. Somehow I believe I am supposed to know how to do everything already even the stuff I know nothing about. It feels so good to reach out and ask for help and actually get help. How are you at asking for help? Is there something you'd like to ask for help with that you are holding back? Would it be useful to stretch and ask?
I started sculpting again. I think I had given up, deciding that sculpting was something I did when I wasn't in a relationship. I starting sculpting eight years ago when Monnya was sixteen and left to go study dance in India. I figured I had better get a life and took a sculpting class. Making bronze sculpture is very time consuming and extremely expensive. My last piece took two years and two thousand dollars. Woking with the hard clay that is used under a rubber mold to create a piece was also very hard on my hands. They would ache like crazy after I worked for several hours. I also didn't think I was good enough to scult without my teacher and a model. It was discouraging to stop sculpting. I started writing again instead. When I started this blog I hadn't written regularly since completing my book many years ago.This blog was my sole creative outlet for the past 18 months. I so appreciate having this vehicle to express myself and to learn and grow.
Monnya asked me to make a sculpture of her and Issac to put on top of their wedding cake or pie or whatever they have for dessert at their wedding in August. I procrastinated for so long that there was no way I could do it in bronze. She said she didn't care what it was made of. I went to Hobby Lobby and looked at sculpting materials and found this stuff called Sculpty that was malleable, stays soft until you bake it, and bakes non-toxically in a regular oven. What a find! I have been so enjoying creating my new piece. It is so much fun that I have to make myself stop and go to sleep at night when I work on it.
In order to create more time in my life to sculpt I am going to be writing this blog once a week from now on. If you want to send me your e-mail address I will write and let you know I have written. Also there is some site where you sign up and they let you know I have written a new blog. I forgot the name of it and i can write to the person who told me about it if you ask me to. Otherwise just check periodically. I am excited to be continuing writing this blog and sharing my process with you. It is a pleasure to have a place to share what I am learning. I appreciate your participation. Do you have a passion that is a way to express yourself creatively that you are holding back from doing? I get into a place where I think I have to be "really good" at something to do it. I am learning that it is OK to do something creative for the fun of it and let go of being so attached to the end result. When I focus on the process and let go of judging the product it is easier to enjoy myself. Why not give that creative activity you've been fantasizing about beginning or beginning again a whirl? Is it something you'd like to find a teacher and ask for help with?