Thursday, June 18, 2009

Three centers

Sometimes I am really inspired to write this blog and sometimes I am not so inspired. Sometimes I have a clear idea of what I want to share or to teach and sometimes I don't. I have been writing these first few lines because sometimes saying what is, inspires me to write about something. If I focus on my fear that I have nothing to say and build on that story then that is what my experience is. My story that I have nothing to say is not conducive to writing a blog tonight. Doing something like beginning to write instead of thinking about the story about my feelings is very helpful to me. So, I ask myself if I did have something to say what would I want to say.
I would want to share about thinking, feeling and doing. Each person perceives the world and relates to the world in these three ways. The way these centers are ordered has a great deal to do with how the person operates in their life and communicates with others. Each person overuses one center, is supported in that overusing by another, and represses the third. For example, mine are ordered feeling thinking doing. That means I overuse the feeling mode. It is a good thing I am so in touch with my feelings. Sometimes it is not so useful that I lead with my feelings, before I think things through. Also it isn't useful that sometimes I am so lost in my feelings that it is hard to get things done. So how it works is I overuse feelings and am supported in that overusing by thinking. That means I spend a lot of time thinking about my feelings. Sometimes it is more time than is useful to my growth. The center I supress is doing. That means it is often hard for me to get things done. For instance tonight I got myself to begin to water my lawn by telling myself I only had to do the sprinkler in one position. I get myself to wash my hand washables by doing one item at a time. Then I acknowledge myself for doing it. It's way easier to do things I want to do or like to do. I bet that is true for most people.
I just got off the phone with my brother. It was fortuitous that he called because I wanted another person to use as an example but I had noone's permission. It didn't feel right to me to share Gary's or my daughter's order of centers with out asking if it was OK. I didn't want to call and ask either. Ben said his order is doing thinking feeling. He said he sometimes does things rashly without thinking first. He is often thinking about what he is doing and he represses feelings. That brings me to the next point. When people have different ordering of their centers they can be challenged relating to each other. People often think that everyone approaches life just like they do.
For instance a person like my brother who leads with doing might connect with me by asking me what I have been doing? I, who leads with feelings might connect with him by asking him how he feels about something? It can lead to lots of misunderstandings. I don't really remember what I have been doing nor do I care. My brother doesn't want to talk about what he is feeling much and probably thinks about what he is feeling even less. It might seem to him when I ask about what he is feeling that I am being invasive. We both may have the best of intentions. This information is especially useful to me when I see someone glaze over when I am talking to them. Then I may approach them from a different center to see if there is more of a connnection. The growth edge, whatever center you lead with, is to focus on strengthening the repressed center. By focusing more on my doing I can bring the three centers into balance. Being balanced with thinking feeling and doing is the ideal. How would you order the centers for yourself? Could it be useful to you to see which one you overuse, which second center supports that overusing and which one you repress? How could strengthening the repressed center support you in being more balanced?

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