Change

I didn't write last night. I have known that I need to change from writing three times a week to writing twice a week. I can tell when something needs to change because the energy shifts. There is a certain heaviness. It's as if the universe is giving me a weather report on my inner process. It goes from sunny and warm to a few wispy clouds to heavy clouds to a storm approaching to a deluge. I can chose to notice or not. I can chose to tell myself the change isn't necessary or my feelings are unnecessary or that it doesn't matter anyway. I like to catch the need for change before the deluge. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.Writing this blog twice instead of three times is a a small change. I like to keep my agreements, though. When I say I'm going to do something and I don't, it doesn't feel good not to. I would rather make a change to an agreement proactively rather than retroactively. I have a rather long thinking to doing stage. Once I know I need to do something it often takes me what I consider a very long time to move into action. Maybe it just takes as long as it does. Any way I will be writing this blog twice a week. I'm not sure yet which days. I would like to know who's reading it and if you want me to I could start a list and send you an e-mail when I write. Otherwise just check. I will write on two weekdays. This week I am leaving on a four day meditation retreat on Thursday so I will write two days before I go. That feel great. There is such a feeling of empowerment when I act on what feels right and make a change. My father used to say, " put your money where your mouth is." I would rather think of it as putting my energy behind my intention.
How do you notice when a change is in the air? Do you feel a gentle nudging? Do you often wait for the deluge when the energy is so strong it is impossible to ignore anymore? Sometimes I call that the cosmic two by four. It often starts with a cosmic toothpick and builds up. It is challenging to discern when the need for change is really the ego cagily trying to avoid being present with what is. I heard the concept of geographic obsessiveness the other day. That is when a person moves whenever they feel restless. There is nothing wrong with moving and it is important to remember that you have to take yourself with you. What is your relationship with change like? Do you tend to hold on too tightly or let go too quickly or do you feel pretty balanced? Usually it is a combination of all of them. I tend to both hold on too tightly to money and let go too quickly with primary relationships. For me balance comes from mindfulness and acceptance of what is and being open to the gifts change can bring.