Sunday, May 4, 2008


An update on the ten second rule that I just learned. According to this scientifically supported article I just read, what they call the five second rule, which is if food falls on the floor and is there for less than five seconds it is OK to eat it, isn't true. Germs don't care how long food is on the floor they climb on right away. I guess it was only wishful thinking. A lovely myth to keep from throwing out tasty morsels or tasty bowlfuls, on clumsy days.
Speaking of myths to let go of, I am in the process of letting go of one to which I have clung much more tenaciously than eating germ laden food.
For years I have defined myself as an active person. By my definition this means I do yoga practice and take a long walk daily. I hurt my knee in my yoga training and now I am having to rest. It is very challenging for me to rest. Being injured, I have permission until I am healed and even then I push it.
My body is not up for doing what it has done in the past and my ego is kicking and screaming. Although I am probably in better shape than I was in my twenties before I was consistently active, I have much less stamina. I want to learn to adjust my activity level according to what feels good to my body on a given day and still feel good about myself as a person. How often do I identify my worth by what I do? I have to do this and that to be OK.How often have I withdrawn my own love because I didn't live up to my expectations? Wouldn't it be better to let go of my expectations and embrace myself with love as I am? The first step is to be aware of what those expectations are. Then I am better able to honor my limitations and stretch myself. Stretching myself means resting as well as challenging myself physically. Being active in a mindful way rather than operating out of my shoulds, gives me a chance to listen to my body. I am getting better at listening to my body. Yesterday at my yoga training I modified all of the poses and even used a chair. It is helping me to see how to be a better yoga teacher in a class with students at different levels. It seems less painful to change the way I see myself than it does to be suffering so much because my body can't do what I have expected it to.
I am on shaky ground and when I let myself feel my fear I also feel held in love. It's kind of scary to not know who I am right now. I embrace not knowing and ask for the courage to let go of control and surrender. What is a myth or a rule or an expectation you have held about yourself that keeps you separate from your own love?

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