Fuel

Salmon ink. I like Salmon. I like both the color of the ink and the fish. I appreciate the salmon who have given their lives so I could eat them. It is so important to me to be aware that the sea beings I eat were alive. I stopped eating chicken about a year ago because it didn't feel good to me anymore. I have gone through many different phases about what feels good to eat. I am grateful that I still get to eat fish and seafood. Eating is very challenging for me because of all of the things I am allergic to. I realized the other day that I am limiting how I socialize because of how I eat. Maybe that is only a rationalization. Sometimes I think that there is something wrong with me because I don't enjoy socializing in groups. It is different if the group is small and I know some of the people and we have an activity to do. To be honest, my favorite way to spend time in a group is in silent meditation. Other activities like chanting, yoga, laughter yoga or some kind of learning experience can also be very uplifting. It is a challenge to be an introvert in a society that is predominately extroverted. You can tell if you are more introverted or more extroverted by how you refuel your energy. Introverts feel reenergized by being alone or with one other close person. Extroverts can refuel in groups. Introverts generally feel drained by large parties or social events. Extroverts enjoy the opportunity to connect with lots of people in various settings. I had a boyfriend who would go to a coffee house and talk to strangers to refuel his energy. He was the ultimate extrovert. Sometimes I crave alone time so much I think I will implode if I don't get it. I can tell that I need it because I begin to feel drained and burdened by others. Quality alone time isn't distracting myself with my computer or food. It is spending time with myself as I would do with another person whose company I value. Tonight I get to go to the meditation component of my yoga training. It feels good to meditate with a group. The positive energy that I often feel from meditatiion builds when there are other people to meditate with. Do you think you are more of an extrovert or an introvert? How do you refuel? Do you need refueling now?