Today I am feeling a deep sense of gratefulness. I have returned to my sense of aliveness. For the past week I have been discouraged because I hurt my knee doing yoga and I have been lost in a lot of fearful thoughts about the future. Fearful thoughts about the future are worries. I have been cooking up worst case scenarios about not being able to do yoga anymore. Out of this injury I am learning to be completely tuned into my body in my yoga training. I am learning to honor my inner voice about what feels good to do and what doesn't.
This level of mindfulness is new for me. I have a very active mind . I am building the muscle of presence by bringing myself back to the present and tuning into my body everytime it wanders off. In order to keep from reinjuring myself I have had to stay aware of my body the whole time I am doing yoga. Yesterday I was feeling so sad because what I can do now is much more limited. Then my ego kicked in telling me that taking this yoga training was a big mistake and that I would never be able to do yoga or teach yoga without injuring myself. Yoga has been my passion for most of my adult life and I whipped myself into a frenzy comparing this to when I chose to stop running after 20 years because running continued to hurt my back. It may be true that yoga won't be a good idea for me to continue doing. Right now that is not the point. The point is to create a different yoga practice where I am more present with my body. This injury is teaching me to be more present with what is happening now. When I am present with what is happening now I can accept what is happening now. When I accept what is happening now I can enjoy what is happening now.
As Eckhart said in the last webclass on "The New Earth" acceptance comes from bringing alert attention to whatever is happening now . That attention creates a sense of connection with aliveness which allows us to experience and release our resistance and accept what is. Being in the present moment accepting what is allows us to feel enjoyment. Enjoyment is the experience of our own aliveness. It comes from inside.
The joy of yoga comes from connecting with that inner sense of aliveness. As does the joy of anything. When I think I have lost my sense of joy it is I who have wandered off. It is there bubbling up inside me waiting patiently for my return. When I use alert attention to bring my mind to the present, back from the fearful and critical messages of my ego, I am aware of my connection with the love that I am, that we all are. That connection brings enjoyment.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to write on this blog. I take what I am learning and write about it and learn in a deeper way by writing. Sharing with you brings me in touch with my joy. I feel truely blessed. Thank you.
What can you bring alert attention to? Practice bringing your alert attention to the little things you do in life. Notice what that's like.