suhka

I read a great article today called Joy Story in the wisdom section of www.yogajournal.com. It was written by Sally Klempton and focused on the idea that joy is within us. She is a great writer and I am inspired by her monthly column in the magazine Yoga Journal. She starts out talking about four different kinds of happiness. The first is called suhka in sanscrit. Sukha is defined as fleeting pleasure. This is the kind of pleasure that comes from outside of ourselves and is dependant on external events or circumstances. I call this external validation, when our sense of our own worth comes from outside of ourselves. My journey has been about moving from external validation to internal validation. Internal validtion is a sense of our own lovability or OKness that comes from within. Suhka and it's opposite duhka, or suffering, go hand in hand according to Klempton. If your pleasure is dependant on something going right outside of yourself when it goes wrong the bottom drops out. If my sense of pleasure is tied up with the weather I will feel great when it's warm and sunny and awful when it's grey cloudy and cold. I have to work hard to not react to grey days because I've conditioned myself to feel happy when it's warm and sunny. Lately I have been able to appreciate grey days more, as long as there aren't too many in a row. I feel less driven to get so much done. It seems easier to give myself permission to move slower and rest more on cloudy, cold, snowy days. If I am dependant on being in a relationship to feel good about myself, when that relationship ends or is threatened my world feels bleak. Extreme possessiveness can be the result of needing a relationship to be OK. Fleeting pleasure can change quickly and often does. If we are spending our lives chasing pleasure and avoiding pain we never get to the real sense of joy that is waiting there inside of us for us to notice it. Today I was walking in the park caught up in my head focused on my thoughts. I wasn't even noticing the beautiful day. When I realized this I was aware of a flock of geese spread across a field eating. They seemed so present with what they were doing. I could see the patterns created by their movements as they gracefully moved together following their food search. I was really enjoying watching them, thinking how much it felt to me as if they were all one. I wondered why people couldn't get along this well.
Then two of them began to fight over the food. My little fantasy of their togetherness dissolved. I was uncomfortable watching them. This is suhka. The fleeting pleasure of holding on to an external idea. In this case a fantasy. They were geese being geese. I realized that opening to all that I am includes opening up to me being me whether I find it pleasurable or uncomfortable. Sally Klemptom calls expecting yourself to be in a good state all the time and beating up on yourself when you're not, a bliss fascist. I liked that. Looking for joy within myself begins with knowing that all of my emotional states are part of my inner experience. Accepting myself with all of them means I'm not any of them. I can experience my feelings without thinking I am them. I have sadness rather than I am sad.
I am feeling afraid rather than I am afraid. By being with the experience of my feelings without identifying with them there is space to experience and release them. Real joy is underneath all of our thoughts and feelings. It is a wellspring that flows within all of us.
If its useful notice suhka in your life. There is nothing wrong with fleeting pleasure as long as we recognize it's fleetingness. More about how to cultivate joy within later. In the meantime close your eyes, breathe into your heart, take a peak and see if its there.