Resting

A person just called me from a worthy cause. It's a non profit organization that I gave money to last year that is doing good things in the world. I answered the phone because I thought it was my friend from New York. I just finished working for the week. I worked a lot this week and didn't sleep well last night. I am very tired. As I listened to this woman talk about her organization I could feel my resentment building. I didn't want to hang up on her and I didn't want to keep listening. I said, I'm sorry but I don't have the energy to talk to you right now." I didn't wait to see whether she would honor that or tell me it would only take a minute of my time. She may have been quite compassionate. Then I hung up the phone. The conversation let me know how tired I am. Often when I get overtired I overeat. The curcuits in my brain get crossed and have developed into a pattern. I know I am tired and I need to rest. I know my energy is depleted. Instead of resting to rejuvenate I eat to replenish. I can tell from my uncomfortably full stomach and my level of energy that the pattern has been operating in full force the last few days. It feels good to write about this.
It'll keep me away from the refrigerator long enough to get clearer. I know that when nothing, feels right, as in no matter what I do nothing at all feels right, it is time for me to do nothing. Knowing that is true and doing nothing are two different things. It is very hard for me to relax and do nothing lately. I used to spend time daily lying on my back on my living room carpet. I have this cranial sacral tool that I rested my neck on. I think I distracted myself because I was doing healing work and that justified lying there. I did begin to lie down on my balls ( the cranial sacral tool looks like two red balls) this week but got up quickly when I bought my story that whatever else I decided must be done was more important. In yoga, savasana, also called corpse pose or relaxation pose, is the hardest pose for me to do. I justify not doing it because I meditate after I am done doing yoga. Meditation isn't doing nothing either. After I am done writing I am going to lie down on the carpet in my yoga and meditation room. There is an electric heater in there and I will get a soft heavy blanket. Then I will be toasty warm. I am going to lie down like a corpse and practice what I teach. Slow down and do nothing . Rest into my life. Spend time being as well as doing. It makes sense that we teach what we most need to learn. Opening to all that I am includes honoring the part of me that intuitively knows it is time for me to stop and be still and listen. If I don't the universe creates opportunities where I am forced to slow down and listen. They have ranged from the cosmic toothpick of getting a cold to the cosmic two by four of breaking my leg. I am going to rest now. Where are you with resting? What do you want to listen to yourself about? What might be in it for you to do so?