car karma

My plan was to stop at the Salvation Army thrift store on my way to yoga class on Saturday morning. I love this class. On the weeks when it works for me to go, I look forward to it all week. I wasn't paying close enough attention and I collided with another car on my way between two parking spaces. My plans were abruptly changed. The bumper of my car was ripped off and my car was bashed in a bit. He had a big truck which suffered a ding on the side. I am fine. The other driver was fine. I feel lucky that my lack of centeredness didn't result in more damage. I tend to be spacey when I am driving. My mind is often on other things. This was a wake-up call.It has resulted in my being a better safer driver. On the scene of the accident was a street person who was talking to both of us. At first I felt cautious until I realized he was trying to be helpful.I was aware of our shared humanity and that felt good. The person I hit thought the accident was his fault and so did I. When the policeman came he explained why it was my fault. I got a ticket. The other man was willing to blow off the damage to his truck because it was minor damage to a twenty year old truck. Again, I felt blessed. We actually had a nice connection and he was interested in coming to a yoga class. He does financial planning work with prisoners reentering the community. Of course, I would rather have met him under other circumstances. It is very hard for me not to beat up on myself when I do something I think is unskillful.This accident has been an opportunity to bring myself back from my angry story of self-blame to give myself compassionate attention.I want to use it as a message from the universe to slow down and pay attention. Also I have been spending too much time in thrift stores lately. I want this time back to do other things.It is easy to fill up my time with things that bring pleasure from the outside instead of being willing to sit quietly and see what arises to do next.I am driving around with my bumper in the back of my car. It reminds me to drive more mindfully. I have been nervous driving and remembering the feeling of the impact of the two cars in my body. It has been helpful to practice energy work for trauma. Today I want to see the car repair person I've gone to for twenty years.It is nice to have lived in one place for so long because over the years I've established a good relationship with him. He said he can reattach the bumper and fix the turn signal. It won't be beautiful and it will be functional.That's good enough for me. My car which I really love and am sad to have hurt, is fifteen years old.I am really glad it is still very drivable. I notice my body is stiff and I am still a little shaky inside. Driving in the snow today was challenging and it was good to do it. I appreciate that my lessons come in bearable ways. I am grateful that it wasn't worse and that I am willing to forgive myself even though it's been challenging. It's good to cut myself some slack and practice what I preach.It's OK to make mistakes. Where are you with that?