Yesterday was a big contrast to Friday. In my five hours of yoga teacher training I felt engaged and excited and strong. My passion for yoga had returned. Rather it was always there and I returned to it. There were still many asanas that I'm not flexible enough to do. It was easier to accept myself and my body and be loving with myself. I honored my body's recovery process from my operatiion. When I am caught up in the "I can't" pattern everything feels awful. I feel grateful that I realized what was going on after only several miserable hours. Yesterday in the training other trainees also shared their struggles. This level of training is extremely challenging physically and emotionally. It is focused on the hips and pelvis and doing lots of difficult hip opening poses is bringing up strong emotion for some of us. I am glad to be taking this training in an atmosphere where it is safe to talk about feelings. It's good to embrace the ebbs and flows in this training and in life. "This too will pass" is always true. I ask to be able to remember that sooner and sooner.
Last night Gary and I went to see my daughter Monnya perform. She is an aerial dancer and was performing in a bellydancing festival. Monnya flies across the air with such grace and skill it takes my breathe away. I am so impressed with the fruits of all of her years of practice. She is beginning to support herself with her artform and I am so proud of her. She has always been willing to practice long hours and take great physical risks to perfect herself as an artist. This creative performance was a new act and a new costume and new music. She has matured in her performing. I think it was dazzling. She is an inspiration to me to push myself to my edge beyond comfort. Maybe it will help me to think of her when I am caught up in "I can't". Maybe it would be good to remember a time when I clearly felt," I can. " I climbed a fourteener by myself about ten years ago and when I got to the top I exclaimed, "This is for me." It was a clear "I can" moment. Do you remember an "I can" moment. Remember back to it. Let yourself reexperience it as if you were there again. Notice all of your senses. Breathe it into your body. Let's practice reimagining this" I can" moment in order to have it under our belts to use as inspiration when needed. Let me know if it is helpful.