Tuesday, April 8, 2008


I am eager to write to you tonight although I'm not sure what about. I am leaving for Tampa for my surgery on Sunday and I won't be writing until Friday. I will miss writing and also welcome the opportunity to rest from everything I regularly do.
Today was one of those days that just flowed. There were several opportunities to react when I didn't. I spilled cooked vegetables on the floor including beets which really made a mess. I noticed my frustration and cleaned it up using the ten second rule that my sister taught me. If something(or in this case a lot of somethings) falls on the floor and is there for less than 10 seconds it is O.K. to wash it off and eat it. May not be very scientific or even sanitary but it works for me.
Also I had the task of downloading the manual for my yoga teacher training on to a disk to go get it copied. To say I am not very computer savvy is a great understatement. I figured it out with a little help and without succumbing to my impatience and frustration and the insistence of my little "you can't do this!" voice. It is so empowering to do something I think I couldn't possibly do. Have you found that to be true for you? How so?
Today I moved more slowly and got more done.Being unrushed and more free of my usual sense of urgency my thinking was clearer and solutions appeared. Time seemed to be smiling on me today sharing herself with me generously.
Maybe being in the flow is one part being less reactive, one part being calmer and therefore thinking more clearly and three parts noticing the flow that is there. Is it possible that noticing the flow, the flow appears? What is this flow? I think it is how the universe holds us. There is a process unfolding moving us toward consciousness.We can either get in the way of it or not. One way of getting in the way of it is to believe in the illusion of control. If only I would try harder things would work out. Noticing I am in my own way without judgement is my vehicle to be kind to myself. Kind enough to say to myself,"I understand that you could feel that way. I care about your suffering." I am learning that I can say this to myself about ANYTHING. It really does help. It is especially helpful in being able to embrace what I am feeling with compassion. When I embrace what I am feeling something softens. Even the voice that is saying that I always write the same thing every time I write on this blog softens.
There I got the purple print back. It disappeared seemingly of its own accord and became black and small. It took several tries to get it to go back. When I am in the flow I trust that things will be O.K. Does that mean that they are actually more O.K. or that I have broadened my definition of what O.K. is to include more things that happen? How do you notice the flow in your own life? Would you be willing to look for it and to see if it finds you?

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