Boundaries

Wow, I haven't written since Friday. I thought I had written on Saturday and my goal is to write every other day. When I was eating breakfast and thinking it seemed like a really long time since I wrote, I realized it had been. When I don't write I miss writing. Also it feels good to set an intention to write every other day and follow through. In addition there must be a built in forgiveness clause for when I don't do what I say I want to. Not following an intention can be a conscious choice. When I was writing every day and it became apparent that I was writing every other day I had a choice. Beat up on myself or change my intention. Maybe it is time to change my intention to say that I will write every other day as best I can. Is it kosher to put as best I can into an intention? Does that let me off the hook from following through with anything? I don't think so. It just builds in a little compassion. For instance, I have a 24 hour cancellation policy in my counseling practice which I wave for extenuating circumstances. It seems important to have clear boundaries and to have these boundaries allow for flexibility. Rigid boundaries are walls. If the flexibility comes from my intuition about honoring the boundary and being present with what feels right to me, it is a true boundary not some fixed rigid rule I have made for myself to follow. What is the difference between a boundary and a wall? When I draw my circle around myself it is a symbol of a boundary which protects me from the inside so I can keep my heart open. It is a marking of my own sacred space within which I honor myself first. That keeps me from erecting a wall to protect myself from other people by shutting my heart down to do it. Walls are impermeable to love. Boundaries let love in.
Yesterday in my singing group Spirit Song there were three of us chanting in my backyard. I was somewhat self-conscious wondering what my neighbors were thinking of me. I kept checking in with myself to see if it felt O.K. or we needed to go inside instead. My wall of fear about what other people think of me, that keeps me from being myself in the world, was yapping at me. "They are going to think you are crazy." "That may be true," I said to that voice. And it feels really good to be marinating in love and sending it out to my neighborhood." The boundary of my circle lets me know I am one with other people even though there is a clear line between where I end and they begin. Walls separate me and make my fear real. Even the two barking dogs in my back yard were quiet while we were singing. I think they felt the energy too.
In your life how do you use your circle? Can you see the difference between a boundary and a wall?