Woo Hoo

I have been thinking this week about the bar. Not the one you go to drink in but the one I set and expect myself to live up to but don't ever measure up to. This bar is set just a little higher than I can be or do. The bar is set so feeling satisfied is always just a little out of my reach. I made up the idea of this bar that I use to prove to myself that I am doing it wrong and am never quite good enough. This bar that tells me that I can't relax and enjoy my life. I have to try harder do more and be better. My conditioning helps support this bar. My parents focused on what I didn't yet accomplish or what I could-a should-a would-a done better rather than acknowledging who I was and what I had done. They didn't do it out of meanness. They didn't want me to be conceited or to have a swelled head. They wanted to prepare me for their world. They wanted to teach me to always set my bar just a little higher than I could achieve. Otherwise, I think they were afraid I would sit around and eat bonbons and expect the world to give me what I wanted. I tried to make them happy and set my bar out of my reach. I learned to look outside myself to measure my own worth and never quite measure up. I learned well. The skill-set of not quite enoughness has been finely honed over years of practice. I have learned to parent myself in the way I was parented.
However, somehow I knew there was another way. When it came to parenting my daughter Monnya I used praise and encouragement to support her in motivating herself. She has high expectations of herself and works hard to do what she wants to do and she can give herself credit for a job well-enough done.
Now it is my turn to parent myself in the way I parented and let go of how I was parented myself. I want to be a Mom to myself like I am to Monnya. Andie, my little girl inside deserves the same praise and encouragement.
I started with the thought, "What would I say to Monnya if I wanted to celebrate her? I would say "Woo-hoo!" just like she does. So my new project is to remember to say, Woo hoo to myself and acknowlwdge myself for what I feel good enough about. For instance, I allowed myself not to exersize aerobically when we were moving. I didn't die. Woo hoo! I volunteered to do a demo session and make myself vulnerable at a workshop. Woo hoo. I relaxed and made love with Gary even though I thought I didn't have time and enjoyed myself. Woo hoo! I say courageously vulnerable things on this blog. Woo hoo. When my bar reappears in its old form I can say woo hoo to myself for noticing how it feels in my body to bludgeon myself with that bar. I can decorate it with flowers and swing from it. I can take my hand over my head and imagine setting my judgements off to the side and say woo hoo to myself for doing that. I can say woo hoo for allowing myself to feel the relief in my body as my stomach relaxes. I can say woo hoo to myself for remembering to say woo hoo. What would you say to yourself to celebrate yourself? Would you be willing to start using that phrase to acknowledge yourself for who you are and what you do? Woo hoo! Woo hoo to you just for being you. Thank you for reading my blog.