Friday, May 14, 2010

Play

I have been going through some very challenging times. Discovering my childhood sexual abuse has turned my life as I knew it upside down. I am aware of the importance of playfulness and how much easier it is for me to be serious. I think I grew up in the "play when the work is done" school. Although I allow myself pleasure it is often laced with guilt. Deep fun in the form of healing work or things that are good for my physical, mental or spiritual health are more acceptable and easier to see as productive. I am grateful that I got two opportunities to just play this week.
Satya, the owner of Whole Yoga, the delightful studio where I teach www.wholeyoga.com organized an evening for the teachers. She asked all of us to bring our props. People brought exercise balls and a headstand machine and hula hoops and balance boards. We chanted and shared and then played on all of the toys we brought. The only structure was to take care of your own body and let yourself have fun. It was so satisfying to get to know some of the other teachers in this free flowing way. When we were done playing we taught each other yoga poses and then had a potluck. I am so blessed to have a group of people to play with who share my passion for yoga. I am grateful to Satya for organizing creative ways to build community. If you've been thinking of taking a yoga class that stretches your body and expands your spirit Whole Yoga is the place. There are many inspiring teachers, each with his or her own style. I teach on Wednesdays at noon. I'd love to have you in my class.
This afternoon, Spirit Song, my chanting group, met at my house. It has been a reliably uplifting monthly experience for several years. We meditate and do a short check-in and then sing. We start with a chant and after singing it for a while begin to improvise. Sometimes we have movements for our chants and dance around. What a pleasure it is. Even if I am tired and cranky before we start, singing carries me in its wake of joy. I feel very safe in this group because we have shared so much together. Today we were all in rambunctious moods and after chanting for a while we began to chant "oy vay" which is yiddish for oh no or woe is me. We wrung our hands and danced around lamenting our fates. From there we evolved into snorting wrestling pigs, rolling around and laughing hilariously. We decided to rename the group Spirit Snort. We created a new way to confront a person to clear an issue by snorting at them. Then we decided to sing upside down in legs up the wall yoga pose. It was so freeing to play uproariously. I realized how much I needed the release after all of the personal work I have been doing. I think all of this work has created more space within me to let go and be playful. I am eager to reconnect to the spontaneity of the little girl I was before the abuse happened. She is a ready and willing playmate.
What ways do you find to play? How could you experiment with letting yourself play more?

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