Computer

My computer crashed this weekend. It's hard to believe how dependant I have become on e-mail communication until it is no longer available. I was in withdrawl. It has become so habitual for me to check my e-mail numerous times a day. I work at home and my computer is always there when I want to avoid doing something else or have a little tension release. The crumbs in my keypad attested to the fact that I had even begun to eat meals sitting in front of my computer. I had even slipped back into browsing on e-bay occasionally late at night which really messed with my sleep.
I decided the best choice was to replace my aging slow moving computer with a newer model and Gary and I went to the store to look on Saturday. I wanted to think about which one to get overnight. The clerk said the store would open at 10 on Sunday and we agreed to return after yoga in the morning. We arrived at the store and it was closed. The clerk hadn't realized it was closed on Easter Sunday.
At a different store they were out of the model I wanted and we would have had to drive 40 minutes to a different branch to get it. The choice was to wait until the next day or use the beautiful Sunday to drive around looking for a computer.
Gary was leaving to go home the next afternoon to prepare for a business trip/vacation to Mexico the next day. There are some definite benefits to having a long distance relationship and having to set up a computer myself after he goes home is not one of them. We both were feeling a sense of urgency about handling it now. I tuned into my intuition and clearly got to wait, go home, eat lunch, go for a walk and handle the computer in the morning. It worked for me that he felt a little guilty that the computer crashed when he was doing a search, even though it had been ailing for a while. He was willing to get the computer on Monday and help me to set it up before going home.
As we ate and walked and relaxed watching a movie that night, I was so grateful to have the time to be together and enjoy each other instead of running around after a computer at a store that didn't feel as good to me. Monday morning we were at the store when it opened and I felt good about my choice.
I am writing this on my new computer which I am enjoying very much. I have set some clearer boundaries to better take care of myself. I have realized that intention is very important in any activity. Doing something unconsciously or consciously makes all the difference. My intention is to use my computer consciously. If I have the desire to use the computer to distract myself from something else I need to do or to relax because it is fun, I will check in with myself first to see if that is what I really want to do. There is nothing wrong with desire. It is acting on automatic pilot with our desires that creates suffering.
Also my new keypad is free of crumbs. I have unsuccessfully separated eating and reading at my kitchen table and I am OK with that for now. Eating while sitting at my computer doesn't feel good to me. It has been easy to eat elsewhere. I am learning that making decisions from the inside according to what feels right works a lot better than a list of shoulds.
I have noticed in the last few days that I feel less anxious. Maybe it is partly because I am taking more time to be with myself and be quiet and less time on the computer. I have been meditating on most nights before bed which I know helps me to sleep better. What is your relationship with your computer? Could it use a little conscious attention?