Wednesday, May 11, 2011

inspired tire

Today I feel blessed. Yesterday I noticed my tire pressure light was on. I went to the gas station, found my tire pressure gauge and and checked my tires. For some people doing a task like checking their tire pressure is simple and easy. For me it represents a triumph. We all have different gifts. I am learning that if I push through my "I can't " pattern and tackle a mundane task I gain confidence in my ability to cope with the material plane and its challenges. My tires all seemed fine. Sometimes the tire pressure symbol comes on when the weather changes so I waited until today. When I drove to teach my yoga class it was still on. I decided to go to a service station I like on my way home from teaching.
Four people showed up for my class. Instead of feeling disappointment, as I have in the past, I celebrated that I had an even number of people and a small enough group to practice partner poses. The class was a welcome change for me and I think my students had fun. I could see that it represented a shift from my personality strategy of taking everything personally. Surrendering control and resisting blaming myself for what is, certainly allows me to enjoy myself more.
When I left the class I headed for the service station to get some help with the tires. The attendant found a stick embedded in and protruding from one tire. He said I would probaly need two tires and he couldn't order them and get the job done until tomorrow. It was raining hard so I didn't want to walk home from there. He filled the tire said I needed to handle it immediately as it would go flat very soon and recommended a nearby tire place. As I was driving there I remembered a tire place I had gone to previously and liked that was farther away. I took the chance and headed there. I was scared that my tire would go flat and I would be stranded in the pouring rain. Every light was red and I breathed and trusted that everything would be OK. Even the anxiety I was feeling was OK. I arrived at the tire place and they had my exact tire and said it would be fine to just replace the punctured one. The guy said he didn't work on commision so he could recommend what would really work the best. He said he could finish the tire in an hour. I had a client in an hour and called her to see if she could meet thirty minutes later. I reached her and it worked better for her to meet later. I had a delicious lunch at one of my favorite restaurants which was a short walk away. If I had to have a punctured tire this was the best case scenario. I was grateful it had gone so smoothly and people had been so helpful and that I had the money to buy a new tire. It also helped to expand the feeling that everything will be OK no matter what happens to me. Even though many challenges present themselves being OK is a constant. I notice that the more I am willing to include more things in what OK is the more OK I feel. Is there something in your life that in the past you wouldn't have known you were OK when it happened that you now know you are OK? Earned secure attachment is about being able to show up for ourselves in ways we couldn't before. It's knowing that we can comfort ourselves in the midst of what used to be intolerable. To me it represents a growing ability to contain and be there for myself instead of reacting. Self-soothing begets feeling safer in the world and the skillset of knowing what is really a threat and what isn't. Do you notice any ways the world feels safer to you than it used to? The challenge is to embrace this job of reparenting ourselves in a way that includes being present with more and more of what is in our experience. The little kids inside of us are learning to respond to love and acceptance. Maybe we are getting that more and more of all of who we are is OK. Maybe that makes the world feel more OK? As the world feels more OK the sense of the oneness that connects us all becomes more apparent. Maybe the awareness of that sense of oneness in our own small way is helping to transform the planet. I feel blessed to have this forum to share what I am learning. Thank you for listening.

No comments: