mission accomplished

This blog is in purple. Purple was my Mom's favorite color when she remembered she had a favorite color. She had purple clothes and purple stuffed animals and a bumper sticker on her car that said,"I love purple!" Monnya and I went to Alamagordo, New Mexico last weekend to pick my Mom up and bring her to her new home in Boulder. We planned the trip to include a little side trip first to Ojo Calleinte hot springs and Sante Fe. It was so much fun to have that time for mother daughter bonding. Our love for each other is fierce and supportive as we push each other to stretch beyond our ideas about who we each can be. We went on a hike as it was getting dark that I think either of us would've been afraid to do on our own. I am so blessed to have her for a daughter and a friend. We have done the work to move into the role of adult friends with each other and it is very satisfying.
Then we headed toward Alamogordo where my mother has lived for four years. For the last year I have been feeling more and more dissatisfied and uncomfortable with the way the place was run. The caretakers are overworked and underpaid. They cared and had no time to really hang out with my Mom. It was a locked alzheimer's unit with no stimulation. I had the feeling that given more loving contact she would deteriorate less quickly. When I found Anam Chara, which means soul friend, I was so excited. It is in a house in a neighborhood and their intention is to nurture the residents in body mind and spirit. The director is passionate about his work and the contribution he is making. The people who work there really like working there. It is set up to feel like a family, not an institution. They have healthy real food and a beautiful yard with rosebushes and a pond.
When we arrived my sister had packed up all my Mom's stuff. She worked really hard for four years to manage my Mom's care. She resisted the move initially and then realized she was really ready for a break.
I woke up on Saturday morning with the word "grueling" drumming in my brain as I thought about leaving at 6am on Sunday and doing the trip in one day. For several weeks I had been going back and forth in my mind about whether to make the trip back to Boulder in two days or one. I went to see my mom early that morning and feeling her sweetness I wanted to make the trip be an adventure rather than a grueling attempt at transporting her as quickly as possible. Even though she is sometimes very out of it, her humanity shines through. She is much sweeter than she was before she lost her memory. She no longer cares that Gary isn't Jewish. She doesn't even know that she is.
We stayed in a nice motel and Monnya and I took care of her. The gods were with us and I didn't have to change one poopy diaper. I am willing to because she certainly did it for me and I was very relieved.
That morning when I woke up early to do my disciplines Monnya and my mom were each sleeping in their respective beds in the same position. I felt an almost unbearably deep tenderness for the two of them that brought me to tears. We are a sandwich the three of us and I am the filling in the middle.
It was so moving to watch Monnya feed my Mom. She said she was getting a baby fix which was really satisfying for her. Monnya went to walmart and bought Mom purple accessories so she could make a fashion statement upon her arrival. Mom looked so cute in her new purple knitted cap.
We arrived in Boulder and moved Mom into her new welcoming home. We decorated the room together and mom had dinner. It was healthy and delicious and I had some too. I left to go back to my Boulder house satisfyed that we had found Mom a place to live out the last stage of her life with dignity and even some fun. I feel such a sense of peace and joy. Rescue mission accomplished . Thanks for listening.