Therapy

Believe it or not I just discovered the comments page of my blog. Occasionally I have asked for comments especially when I wonder if there is anyone reading what I have written. I really appreciate all of you who wrote and shared with me about how my blog has contributed to you. I have been writing my blog for two years and I didn't know that comments existed because I don't see them after the posting. For some people figuring this out would be easy. I am technologically challenged. Something inside me freezes up when I am faced with figuring out a mechanical task. It's hard to think clearly with a frozen brain. I am grateful that I plowed through the explanations and asked for help and quieted my inner critic's voice that told me I couldn't possibly figure out how to write a blog and did it anyway. There are some things that come easily for me and some things that are more challenging.
I remember when I first started seeing clients thirty years ago. I would be so anxious when working with a new person wondering if what I had to offer would be at all helpful. For a long time I wanted the people I worked with to leave my office smiling and I thought I had done a bad job if someone didn't. I learned that each person's process was their own and the emotions they took with them were all valuable. Then there was the phase in my work when I would get what I thought was a brilliant insight about a client's process. Just as I was about to share my gem of wisdom I would hear screaming voices in my head telling me to shut-up. It took years to really listen. When I began to contain my insights and sit quietly I realized that in less than five minutes the other person would come to the insight themselves. Then it would be theirs, not mine and the person would claim it and be receptive to it in a deeper way.
I have accumulated a wonderful toolbox to support the people I work with in opening their hearts to all of who they are. With time I have learned that the best tools help people go within and listen mindfully to their own bodies, minds and spirits and to learn to trust the power within each of us. That power is waiting for us to ask for help and listen. When the people I work with tune into their own source I can hear the source cheering. "I am so happy you have asked for my help. I have waited so long. You don't have to do this alone. I am here for you."
Part of what makes me a good therapist is that I am willing to do my own work.
I know that the more I grow the more I have to offer others. Since I discovered my childhood sexual abuse in April I have been back in individual therapy. I have also participated in a weekly group for incest survivors. With this work I have claimed my femininity. I have been afraid to be a woman and to be receptive and emotionally vulnerable. I now know I can be strong and vulnerable and that vulnerable with good boundaries is strong. I am drawn to flowy skirts and clothes that are more fitted. I know I can protect myself and little Andie by keeping my heart open. Little Andie is pretty big these days. She is creative and playful. We went swinging last weekend and as we flew through the air with the wind blowing through our hair we were one with nature and the universe. Since I have been doing this round of theraputic work I have opened to my sexuality. I never understood what all the hoopla was about. Now I do. It helps to have a loving partner who trusted that if I only made love when I wanted to I would actually want to. It was a stretch for him and brought him growth. I am awed by the benefits of a theraputic relationship. It is an opportunity to trust another human being with my precious spirit and to allow myself to expose those parts of me I find unacceptable. In the safe space of love I have opened to accepting the unacceptable. I can see that even incest is a vehicle to move through my obstacles to unconditionally loving myself. My statement for the Presence Process this week is, "I love myself unconditionally."
This is my second time through the process and this time it feel way more like the truth. I am blessed to be getting the help I am getting. It is coming from my connection with my spiritual support, and my therapist and my support group.
I love to support others in moving through the obstacles to self-acceptance. It is such an honor to love people and watch them grow into more and more of the awareness of the shining star that we all are.
I would love to work with more people. Summer is almost over. Fall is a great time to bring our attention to ourselves and do some deep work. Please think of the people you know and see who might benefit from what I have to offer and send them my way. Or send yourself my way. Thank you.