Preparation

I am leaving for Mexico on Sunday for 10 days. I feel very grateful to be going. It is a chance to relax, do yoga and enjoy myself. I often get anxious before a trip. I like my routines and change is often unnerving. I like sleeping in my own bed and I love doing my work. It is a challenge to be in a different place and to spend way more time than usual with Gary. On the other hand the place I am going is familiar now and I am comfortable there. Gary and I have worked hard on sharing our own truth and honoring each other's truths. That helps us get through anything given enough time.
It's good to write about my fears so I can release them. I am afraid of running out of underwear. I am afraid of not being able to get healthy food. I am afraid of giving myself up and feeling trapped and resentful with Gary. I am afraid of being so afraid I won't be able to relax and have a good time. I am afraid I won't be able to sleep. I can now be with myself about my fears. As each one surfaces in my mind I can choose to fuel them with my ego's story or breathe into the sensation of the fear. As I breathe and validate that I am afraid, solutions float up. When I validate my fears first, hearing the fear and telling myself it is OK to be afraid, the solutions actually seem helpful. Whew! That felt good.
Now I will say what I am looking forward to.I am looking forward to doing what I want to do when I want to do it. I am looking forward to the awesome yoga classes. I am looking forward to this gorgeous waterfall hike that Gary and I do. I am looking forward to slowing down and being with the ocean. I am looking forward to plenty of time to do my spiritual disciplines. I am looking forward to being in a different culture in a place that has no cars. I am looking forward to practicing Spanish. I am looking forward to finding a balance between being with Gary and being with me. We have two good friends that I enjoy spending time with that we met there who will be there for a few days,too. It is rare to experience four people who really enjoy each other's company. There is a lot I am looking forward to. It feels good to release fears and follow it with what I am looking forward to. What I want is to spend this week being as present as I can and to trust that I will get everything done in a good enough way. My ego seems very active today so I want to be aware that it will be distracting me with what I am doing wrong and saying wrong. When I am feeling very afraid or negative I know my ego is active. I don't always know it at the time. Sometimes it feels so real that I suck, or Gary sucks or my life sucks. What I want is to recognize that that is what is going on and disengage. My ego goes to town before a trip letting me know how I must rush and get everything done and keeping my to do list in my face in a way that distracts me. I decide where I put my attention. Where I put my attention, either on my higher self or on my ego will determine my state of mind going into my vacation.Will i arrive there exhausted or energized? My intention is to remind myself to awaken whenever I fall asleep and move into automatic pilot and do my vacation preparation with a sense of urgency. Awaken Awaken Awaken. Is there anything you are feeling anxious about? Would it help you to listen to your fears so you can validate them and release them? Is there anything about what you are anxious about that you are looking forward to?