The presence process

I have an unexpected hour. A client didn't remember her appointment. Although I am anxious when that happens and often feel abandoned, like I have been stood up, I also feel grateful for the time. I didn't know how I would find the time to write today and I wanted to. Here it is and here I am. Thanks for being with me again. I am glad to be home from my trip to Mexico. I had a lovely time. I especially enjoyed taking six yoga classes and hiking with Gary to a giant waterfall. I led Laughter yoga while I was there and as always I appreciate the opportunity to be a complete idiot that Laughter Yoga brings.
I am reading a book called the Presence Process by Michael Brown. My friend Ginger told me about it. Over the years Ginger has told me about several things and I do them. Her enthusiasm for healing and growth lets me know her recommendations are ones to consider. Michael Brown was in chronic pain for twenty years. He tried everything eastern and western to help himself. What helped him was what he calls the presence process. I had read the introductory materials before I left and I began the presence process while in Mexico. This is a ten week commitment to do fifteen minutes of conscious breathing twice a day, use what he calls presence activating statements and read the book. The purpose is to uncover, release and heal repressed emotional experiences from the past. This increases the capacity to experience the present moment. I am finding it to be very challenging and extremely satisfying. My present activating statement for this week is: I chose to experience this moment. I have been using it frequently.
It is helping me to see that I can be present in this moment whatever this moment happens to look like. Sometimes I like the moment and sometimes I don't. When I chose to experience this moment I notice I am grateful to be writing this blog. There is such a simple pleasure to be sharing my experience from my heart with you.
It was fun to be on vacation and I love being home. After about nine days I was ready to come home. My life is so full and satisfying just as it is. I am grateful for that too. I have wanted to do spiritual practice in the evening before I go to sleep for many years. I often start and last a few days or a few weeks. Committing to doing fifteen minutes of conscious breathing for the fifteen minutes before I go to bed each night for ten weeks is a real stretch for me. I am hoping that in ten weeks it will be second nature. One way to practice chosing consciously( Door B) over chosing habitually (Door A) is to commit to a practice of choosing Door B over a period of time. Making an agreement to do this process before I go to bed and when I first wake up for ten weeks brings up stuff just by itself. Michael Brown says to see everything that comes up as part of the process even resistance to the process. I notice I am calmer and more peaceful sometimes and more in touch with my joy and also that I have been near panic a few times. I have been quicker to react angrily and quicker to get over things. It has only been six days. I am eager to experience these 10 weeks moment by moment. I love being challenged to look at myself. I think of it as deep fun. Except when I don't and then I want to shut my heart down and run away from it all. The problem is always when I run away from it all I have to take myself with me.
This morning it was challenging to do the process first thing.I was putzing around a little and making myself wrong for it. Then I realized the book says as soon as possible upon awakening and I cut myself some slack. It's more challenging to do something first thing here than it was on vacation. I have to be aware of the little sabateur that says, What about checking your e-mail? What about eating breakfast? Arent't you really hungry?Etc. Etc.
Fifteen minutes goes by quickly so far. I will keep you posted. If the spirit moves you to check out this book it is available on amazon. It would be fun to have you do it and to give each other support through this blog. Or not. Is there something that you have been wanting to commit to that you could allow yourself to welcome your resistance in for tea and to do what you've been wanting to do? It could be small or big. What's the next step? How would it impact your life to do something you've been wanting to do and haven't let yourself? If the spirit moves you go for it. If you feel like sharing what it is feel free. The link goes through to my e-mail now. I'll talk to you next week.