Hello, I’m not sure how to write about this. Here goes. A few nights ago I was in the middle of a class and I noticed a fly on my living room floor on its back struggling to turn over. Upon closer observation I could see that one leg and one wing were different from the other leg and wing. The fly struggled and struggled and was unable to move from its back to its front and move away. As I watched I thought, maybe I could help.
I remembered the story of the boy watching a butterfly struggle to get out of its cocoon. After a while he decided to help. Part of the butterfly’s transformation was the struggle to break through from the cocoon to emerge and fly away. The boy helped the butterfly get out and it immediately died as it emerged.
So I watched for a long time rooting for the fly to turn over on its own. I felt connected to the fly and its perseverance was inspiring to me. I then decided to try and help not knowing if my help would even be helpful. With the arm of my glasses I gently turned the fly over. He or she began to move. What a triumph! Then in a few seconds she/he was back on her back and struggling to turn back over again. I am going to use they as a pronoun. I think they would have liked that. By now the fly’s journey had my complete attention and we completed our ritual many more times. I would turn them over and they would begin to walk and then they would be flipped over back on to their back. I tried to make a little ramp to even out the discrepancies between the leg and wing on one side. That allowed them to stay on their front a little longer. We kept at this for a very long time. The fly’s efforts to right themselves never availed. They didn’t seem to effort any less as time went on. Eventually I knew I had to stop and go to bed. After several failed attempts to let go and leave the fly to its struggles alone, I was finally able to go upstairs and get ready for bed. I was so inspired by the tenacious spirit of the fly.
In the morning I came down and observed that the fly had ceased moving and was dead. I felt sad and wondered if my helping had prolonged a struggle that would have ended in an easier death. I could make up lots of stories about what I think this fly’s experience might have been. I don’t know how this all works. It got me thinking about life and death and rebirth and how all of life is a mystery and a miracle.
What I do know is that my experience with this fly changed me. I have always had the belief that we are all interconnected. I don’t know that I would have included flies before. Later that day I held a little service for the fly and asked how it wanted me to dispose of its body. Intuitively I felt that it wanted to be composted and that’s what I did. Who knows where that information came from? I have thought about the fly fondly many times since I put them in the compost. This experience of interspecies connection was very strong and I am grateful. Have you had similar personal experiences?
