Practices

Last night, Gary, his friend Tom, I, and 1000 other people experienced Braco. (pronounced Bras-co) It was an event where this croatian guy stands on a podium and silently gazes out at the audience for what seemed like about half an hour. Everyone was completely silent. I felt a very strong sense of well-being and waves of energy moving through my body similar to creas or energy releases that sometimes happen in meditation. These sessions had been going on for two days. Ours was the last and the largest. It also featured the voice of Braco. As his voice began to be piped into the sound system I experienced strong anxiety because I couldn't understand what he was saying at all. I started to go off into a story about the woes of my hearing challenges. Aware of what I was doing, ( conscious incompetence- or the awareness of a habitual automatic behavior) I was kind to myself about being in mid-story and brought myself back to the present. I listened in a more focused way, trying to understand what he was saying and realized he was speaking in croatian. I had a giggle to myself and then hung out with the sounds.
I'm not sure how it works or what it was all about exactly and I felt very loving today. I am glad I followed my intuition to go to the event. When I listen to that still, small voice it is always validation to listen some more. I am living my life by honoring that voice more and more.
Two practices came to me this week that I would like to share with you:
One is the stay here mantra. First you draw your circle around yourself in the air- a symbol of sacred space that's made sacred by bringing yourself your own attention.
On an inhalation you say to yourself silently STAY
When you exhale you say to yourself silently HERE
You keep focusing on your breath and repeating stay as you breathe in and here as you breathe out. It is a way to gently call yourself home to this present moment and to being with yourself in your circle. I have been using it both as part of my meditation practice and in my daily life to call myself back when I wander off into a story or feel anxious. It has been very helpful. Tone of voice is important: the stay here is spoken in a kind inviting voice, rather than a voice you would use when training your dog.
The second practice is to place your hand over your heart and feel your love for yourself. Even if it is the size of the head of a pin. Breathe into that love and let yourself feel it in your heart, imagining your love growing and your heart filling. Say to yourself, "I love you and use your name. When I feel my own love for myself and say, I love you Andrea, I imagine that my love goes to the little girl inside me, too. I feel my love for her. In this way I connect to myself and to her and to love. This practice has been comforting and empowering to me. Doing this practice feels as if I am growing love. I hope you enjoy experimenting with these practices.
My computer is not willing to get different sizes, bold or italics or colors of printing right now. So this will be plain and simple and good enough. Blessings, Andrea.